Parental Failure

I feel so disappointed and helpless when Beth gets into one of her intractable moods and won't do as she is supposed to.

We just got into another fight this evening and I had to send her to the corner, which was all I could think to do. I was SO ANGRY. First she wouldn't do her Chinese homework. Then she practised Rock n Roll once, but refused to work on the tricky introduction, which she missed learning in class because she was ill last weekend.

Last week she threw a tanty in the changing room of the local pool. Right in front of a friend and her 6 yo daughter. The friend looked bemusedly at Beth carrying on about her pants getting wet, while I muttered threats under my breath, then gave up and sat and rolled my eyes as Beth displayed her worst self. What else could I do - scream at her in front of the dozens of other parents and children?

I said I was not re-enrolling her for Term 3.

The older she gets, the harder it is to make her see the practical consequences of her poor learning attitude. If she continues like this, I don't know what will become of her. She is already achieving below potential because she only wants to do what she wants to do (i.e. READ). She lacks that steady consistency and motivation, that inner drive to excel that Emily and Joshua J have displayed in music and academics. When I hear how well they are doing, I feel embarrassed that Beth is so lackadaisical. She has the smarts but she won't work for it.

This is NOT how a Singaporean child should be!

I wish some expert could advise me how to handle this child. Are personalities carved in stone? Will she always be this way? What will I do when she becomes a teen? What is wrong with her? Why does she act this way? She's setting such a bad example for J, and I don't wish to see J lose her innocence and starting acting up like her big sister. One brat is bad enough!

Postscript:
Despite being told that she will not get to go to Keely's for a play date, and that she will have to account to her dad when he comes home, Beth has taken the easy way out - and gone to sleep on the couch!
What will I do with this child???