Learning Parental Wisdom From A Non-Parent

Our house guest shared some honest insights about our girls after observing and interacting with them through the week.

About B, she says that we give in to her too much.

For instance, if B can't find her socks/school pants/jujitsu uniform, her first reaction is to ask Mummy for help. And Mummy (Daddy too) generally stops doing whatever she was doing to help find the missing whatever.

Two nights ago, A imparted a valuable lesson to B.

On my way out to pick up J from daycare, I told B to get dressed for jujitsu class. Instead, she went to Aunty Annie whining that she couldn't find her outfit.

A just looked at her and said, "So how?"

And didn't offer to help.

B was nonplussed, and after a few seconds, figured out what she was meant to do.

After searching a few different places, B was still unable to find said outfit. By now, she was getting panicky because A asked why she hadn't dressed like Mummy had asked her to.

B said she'd searched everywhere: the clotheshorse, the ironing basket, her closet...

Only then did A relent and offer to accompany her on her search.

Moral of the Story?

Hubby and I need to let go of our need to be "good" parents and let B experience what it's like to solve her own problems.
Otherwise she'll never learn. She'll be this "lembek" damsel in distress, always depending on someone else to fix things when she gets into difficult situations.