Filial Piety - Aussie Style

Conversation between me and Beth in the car this morning:

"When I'm married," began Beth out of nowhere, "I'll be living in a different house. Of course. And you'll still be living in the same house.

When your house gets dirty, you just need to give me a call and I'll come and clean your house for you.

But you must tell me what cleaning you need me to do, so I can bring the right tools."

"That is so sweet, thank you," I replied. "But what if you live far away?"

"As long as I can drive, I'll be able to come to your place. And if my husband earns as much as Daddy does now, I can send my kids to daycare and come over to your house."

There are just no words sometimes for the love, beauty and innocence in the relationship between a parent and child.

A Perfect Day For...

...springcleaning.

Today's the first day of the Term 3 holidays.

Beth and I made two quick trips to Tasman Meats and ALDI to stock up on groceries.

I love shopping on a weekday morning when the shops are nice and empty and you don't feel rushed. There was even time to make conversation with the young man manning the ALDI checkout counter.

I asked who he's supporting for the AFL Grand Final on Sat and he said,"St. Kilda; yay!" and looked distinctly cheery.

I told him we support the Doggies (the Western Bulldogs, who lost to the Saints and the Cats and thus missed out on the finals).

"I apologize," he commiserated.

I asked if he and his mates were planning to get together to watch the final. He said yes.

Just a random conversation between strangers, but I felt in that 3 minutes that we had truly connected. What a beautiful feeling.

As the next customer took over my spot and I hastily bagged the last of the groceries, the cashier wished me a good morning.

When we got home, I announced that I was going out to the backyard to pick up dog poo before the gardener arrives.

"Would you like to join me outside?" I inquired of Beth.

"No thanks. I need to eat my breakfast," she replied sweetly.

A Parenting Dilemma

I'm not overly fond of reading parenting books, but it looks like I'll have to hit the library soon.

I have a highly strung firstborn who won't look people in the eye or greet strangers (unless she's feeling up to it), whose emotions are completely out of control, who throws a tanty if she can't get her (music) notes right, who hates it when I attempt to enforce law-and-order over homework.

As a Singaporean brought up to respect my elders and do as I'm told, I struggle to understand what goes on inside my 7 y.o.'s mind. Sometimes I wonder if I'm too hard on her. At other times I wonder if she's missing an emotional chip.

There have been so many instances when she has just refused to say hello to a friend or friend's parent because she doesn't feel like it. It absolutely mortifies me. I am sure the unspoken question among the less generous will be: "What's wrong with your child?" or "Haven't you taught her any manners?"

I know my mum would give me a hard time if she were on the receiving end of her granddaughter's churlishness. She would say I haven't taught her well. :(

In contrast, my second-born is naturally cheery, full of smiles, and is an extrovert. She smiles nicely at strangers, chats with friends and relatives on the telephone even when she doesn't really know who she's talking to (she's two, after all) and loves to give and receive hugs.

I know I'm already displaying favoritism just by the way I describe my children. But how can I help it? One is likeable, and one is so...prickly. It's probably also a case of opposites attract. My firstborn is like me in nature: introverted, cautious, takes time to warm up to people. Over the years I've grown to be more open and curious and accepting, but there you have it. My firstborn manifests my natural self as it would be if I didn't make an effort to change. And my second-born has all the qualities I work hard to cultivate but still fall short of, just because I wasn't wired that way.

Aren't kids interesting?