Good News Gang

To ease Beth into her future school environment, hubby and I have decided to let her resume attending Good News Gang at Suburban Baptist Church from now on.

Last night was her first GNG session this year.

Good News Gang runs during school term every Wed from 7-8.30 pm. Most kids that go are either from HCC or GNLS. Under supervision, the kids play games like Port/Starboard, learn Bible stories the hands-on way (with the story of Elijah, they built a fire outside and burned a plastic toy cow!), enjoy snacks and drinks, make new friends and generally have a ball. They are divided into small groups according to their ages, so Beth gets to hang out with her school friends, plus other kids from GNLS.

Beth used to go to GNG with her best friend K, with K's mum cheerfully running a taxi service and picking up various other kids to go along. But K and Beth are in different classes this year, and the opportunities for interaction have been fewer. Which also means each of them has moved on and made other friends that they now spend more time with.

I used to be anxious about Beth's emotional and social development as she is an introvert like me, who takes ages to warm up and show her friendlier side. She doesn't even do hugs. She just stands stiffly with arms by her side and lets her friends hug her. A real durian.

Anyway, yesterday morning we met K at school and I nudged Beth to go over and ask if K was going to GNG. K said yes but she couldn't take Beth because she was taking Z and one more person would make it too squishy in the car.

When Beth came back with her report, I made a concerned comment, thinking she might feel rejected by K.

To my surprise, Beth said that was okay.

And she smiled.

Cheerfully.

Then she waved goodbye and went on her way to get ready for the morning line-up.

When I told hubby, he commented: "She has matured."

Good news indeed.

Kinder update

Miss J is enjoying kinder so much she has let me go without even a "Goodbye Mum".

No more tears and tanties, whew.

She's already talking about play dates with Emily and Olivia. Or is it Stephanie?

And since last week she's been playing with Catherine.

I can foresee a new circle of playdates and friendships blossoming, especially if the kiddies and Miss J go to the same primary school next year.

Music for pleasure

Life has been more pleasant since I let go of the reins of supervision and involved hubby in Beth's keyboard practice.

Now he takes her to Sat morning class while I go for my dance class.

When she practises, he calls out encouraging comments from the couch.

He doesn't tell her how to play, unless it's something explicit the teacher has recorded in the notebook.

I've taken a leaf from hubby and scaled back drastically in my tendency to nag and criticize and to never be satisfied with anything less than perfection.

The result: practices are less tearful for Beth and less stressful for me.

I love seeing her take more initiative in how she practises, like when she explains why she is playing a certain way and what she hopes to achieve.

With her AMEB piano, I still take a more active approach, playing duets alongside her and setting high goals. It's very frustrating having to 'lower' myself to her level and watch her struggle with her sightreading and neglect her scales, or when she can't 'get' a particular rhythm.

Now and then I ask myself if I'm making her do AMEB for her or for me.

Am I putting her through the hard yards simply because I had to do them when I was her age and it's the done thing?

But it's been worth working at a more balanced approach to parental involvement.

And I have my dance teacher to thank. Because she changed the session time from 12.30 pm to 11.30 am, I have an 'excuse' to let hubby be the one to take Beth to Yamaha.

When one door opens...

On 17 March, the die was cast.

We got a call from GNLS asking if Beth and Miss J could come in for an interview the following afternoon. And could Beth please bring her latest school reports.

Miss J was so excited she kept telling everyone - her kinder teachers included - "I'm going to see my new principal today!"

Until we reached the school carpark...and discovered she was sound asleep.

Miss J is one of those kids who cannot be roused when she's in deep sleep.

"Jordanne, wake up! We're going to see your principal!" just didn't work with her.

So I had to carry her in my arms and lumber into the P's office, with Beth helping me carry the bag containing her reports and application papers.

I was proud of how Beth conducted herself during the interview, the charmingly frank way she talked about her composite class and specialist subjects and how she enjoys being part of the choir and ensemble.

Most of all, I am grateful that Beth has come to accept (not in a resigned bo pian way but with a positive attitude) that she will be changing school, uniform, friendships, routine etc from next year. She has truly matured in the last 2 years.

I was also impressed by the P's understanding manner, her communication and leadership skills, and the effort she put in to get both girls into the school. Perhaps the school reports helped, as well as our explanation that Beth had been doing extension work since prep, and is currently doing extension Literacy and Numeracy.

As she explained it, the prep enrolment for 2012 is full (such is GNLS' rising popularity). The only way she can think of is to accept Beth into Grade 3 this year or Grade 4 next year, and have Miss J come in as a prep sibling, which automatically guarantees her a place.

At one point, she popped out to discuss the matter with her leadership coordinator, and came back to announce that the latter supported her proposal.

I wished Calvin could have been there to make the decision with me, but he was at work. So I took my many questions and self-doubts in both hands and asked how the school would cater to students who wanted to achieve more. (I was careful to phrase that positively so as not to appear like one of those annoying parents who think their kids are super smart and deserve special treatment.)

I also explained that we would like Beth to stay at HCC for the duration of 2011 because of the unusual circumstances with her 2/3 composite class, which is new to the school, the teacher and the students involved.

The P accepted that, and we said yes to her offer of Grade 4 for 2012 for Beth and prep for Miss J.

I know we have made the decision that is practical for our family, but I cannot say I have absolutely no doubt we have done the right thing. If I only focused on what Beth is going to miss out - Year 5 camp, Latin, French and Chinese (which was one reason we opted for HCC to start with), ensemble - the fear that I have done the wrong thing by my child would break my heart.

I am not looking forward to breaking the news to the school mums I have grown close to: Jo, Carmel, Yvonne, Louie, Cassandra, my neighbour Sebby...

Not to mention nearly all of Sunday School.

But I also think of the mums at kinder who are considering Woodville PS, the non-HCC kids who do Kumon every Mon and Thu alongside Beth, other friends here who have opted to send their kids to the neighbourhood school/Catholic school, the relatively low cost (and high standard) of education in SG.

And I know HCC cannot be the only or 'best' choice.

Not when it causes so much financial strain for 10 months of the year as we work out how to pay $562 a month in school fees on top of the mortgage and other expenses. And that is for just one child.

Learning Mandarin

The 4 yo is doing better than anyone expected.

She can recite three 儿歌, is amazingly enthusiastic about reading her textbooks and doing her homework, and pronounces her 汉语拼音 in an adorable Aussie accent.

Won't be long before she catches up with Big 姐姐。

Sibling affection

My heart warms when I see the girls play together.

It wasn't so long ago that all Beth did was growl at Miss J. On bad days, she even rued having prayed for a baby sister.

They started growing closer last year and now that Miss J is 4, goes to kinder and has a decent vocab, Beth enjoys her company much more.

They dress their dolls, play with blocks, Polly Pocket, cooking...

Family harmony and learning to enjoy each other's company.

That's what it's all about.