How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count The Ways

Here's Beth drying J's hair after a bath...

Beth giving J a belly rub...

And J really appreciates it - see that loving look she's giving her Big Sis?

Beth cuddling J...


J is definitely modelling herself on her Big Sis. Watch this...

The 6-week Growth Spurt

Jordanne has been a bit fussy the past few days. She seems to be rooting all the time, even when she has just fed. I feel as if I'm being sucked dry. I've had days when I'm so exhausted I fall asleep while nursing. That, or I get sore and fed up and contemplate giving her the bottle...except she's smart enough to know the difference and doesn't take to the bottle unless she's starving.

Read in BabyCenter.com.au that babies go through a growth spurt around this time, and that if I b/feed her whenever she demands it, my supply will increase to meet her needs.

Tried that today and it seemed to work.

Funny how there can be milk in there even when the boobs are so soft and empty...

Cultural Differences

Freedom of expression is a double-edged sword, and we've noticed it particularly here.

Ozzie youths are extremely articulate and confident and very at ease with themselves.

At church, we've seen some of them doing their own thing during worship time i.e. putting their feet up on the pew in front of them, clowning around, making faces at the musos (musicians). Probably all done lightheartedly, but nevertheless distracting to people around them, not to mention behaviour that's hardly appropriate in church. We would certainly be horrified and ashamed if we ever caught Beth developing such tendencies.

Yesterday, Beth was outside playing with the neighbour's kids. I watched them from my doorway as they hunted for stuff on the empty plot of land across the road.

First D was whining about not having a stick, then her sis, perhaps to placate her, reached up and pulled off the topmost branch from a sapling that was growing on the plot, and they started whooping and cheering at her cleverness. Then before I knew it, C uprooted the ENTIRE TREE and started prancing around with it, as if highly pleased with her feat.

I was so appalled at this wanton act of destruction that I was speechless for a while. I hate telling off someone else's kids, but I was the only adult present and something had to be done before I became an accomplice by omission. So first, I explained to D (who was with me) why what her sis had done was wrong. She tried to explain that C was trying to get her a bigger stick, or something like that. Then I summoned Beth from across the road and told her the same thing. She too tried to justify C's act. Isn't that interesting?

Finally, I confronted the culprit herself. She defended her act, saying they wanted to build something but couldn't find any sticks of suitable size/length. I said she could have picked those that had already fallen on the ground, or played some other game. How could she just destroy a living thing like that? If everyone did what she did, there would be no trees left in Australia etc etc.

As I explained things to C, trying all the while to control my shock that an 8 y.o. could be capable of such a deed, I was highly conscious that these were someone else's kids and might have been raised with different ideas about Nature and living things.

But I also knew the power of peer influence, and I didn't want Beth to grow up thinking this was the right thing to do, or to blindly imitate others, or that the most convenient way to get something she wanted was necessarily the right way.

A while later, the girls' mum came out and the girls told her what had happened. I was hugely relieved when she told C in a very firm but calm tone that what she'd done was wrong, hadn't she told her before many times not to do such things, she hadn't given the sapling a chance to live, it could have grown into a tree that could give shade to people and a place for birds to rest etc etc. Whew. At least we're on the same page.

It looks like while I'm deathly afraid of dealing with other people's kids, God has deliberately placed me in the path of 2 precocious ones (add my own, and that's a trio of potential trouble!). Perhaps He wants me to confront and overcome my fear and at the same time grow into a mentor to little ones.

God grant me the wisdom and courage to do what's right!

Beth and D...(Part 2)

12.20 and still no sign of Beth.

As I got my keys and prepared to cross the street to reclaim my runaway girl, there came a knock at the door.

2 little faces peered through the plexiglass panel.

Beth and D.

"I was just wondering..." began D hesitantly, "Can Bethany stay over for lunch and then I'll take her back here after lunch?"

A plethora of possible responses went through my mind as I considered her question. Beth beamed hopefully at me.

Do you have your Mum's permission to do this?
Are you sure it won't be too much trouble?
What are you having for lunch?
Why can't Beth eat at home?
How about I send Beth over after she has her lunch?

I explained that Beth could eat at home first and I would send her over afterwards, but for some reason D couldn't understand what I was saying, and went on again about Beth having lunch at her place and she would bring her back later.

I gave up and said, "As long as it's ok with your Mum."

Beth grabbed D's hand with glee and away they flew across the street.

Barely 30 mins later, another knock on the door.

Just D, and barefoot too. Where was Beth?

"We're watching a video...Beth wants to watch too. Can she stay and we'll bring her back after the video? If it's nighttime we'll pause the video..." she grinned.

"Nighttime? How long is your video?" I asked incredulously. "Just bring her back after you finish watching ok?"

And off she ran in her bare feet (how can anyone run on the tarmac sans shoes on a hot summer's day?).

Beth and D

Just after we got home from our first Garage Sale, there came a knock on the door and a little face peeped through the plexiglass panel.

It was D from across the street. Her bike lay on its side in the middle of our neighbour's driveway.

"Can Bethany come play?"

I squinted in the glare of the sunlight and contemplated saying no, she's busy (which she was - reading).

"Sure, if it's indoors. It's too hot to play outside today."

"She can come inside my house and play," said D hopefully. Beth had gone over yesterday evening and had a riotous time on the trampoline in the backyard while CA and I took Scottie and Jordanne to the playground. We were comfortable doing that only because Melissa (D's and C's mum) assured us she would be keeping an eye on the kids.

Beth came running, and without asking my opinion, immediately put on her sandals and announced she was going over to D's.

Before I know it, there'll be sleepovers and pyjama parties and...

My little girl is growing up too fast!

Precious Peace

If only everyday were like this.

Bub's fallen asleep after nursing. Beth's fallen asleep after reading a book. Neither has had their bath, but I'm not about to fuss over the small stuff. We'll get to that when they're awake.

It's such a rare thing to have them both quiet at the same time. I'm just savouring my solitude and enjoying the luxury of being able to do my own thing.

I hear Bub wailing from the room now. This ALWAYS happens when I'm congratulating myself. Why is that so??

An Old Soul Aged 4.5

We were all in bed together, me nursing Jordanne, Beth reading her book.

"I wonder what I should cook for dinner tonight. Rice? Noodles? Bee Hoon?" said I to Beth, expecting some suggestions.

She smiled.

"It's up to you Mum. You're the cook."

Honestly, I sometimes think she's growing too fast for my liking. I tell her she's an old woman in a girl's body.

"It's up to you" ranks up there with other Beth gems like "Whatever" (delivered in a roll-the-eyes deadpan manner like a jaded teen) or "Live and learn, live and learn" (I've no idea where she got that from).

The Friends Across The Road

I'm still getting used to the idea of Beth playing outside our fence-less, gate-less house with the neighbour's kids.

I watched her run outside to join D (5) and C (7) as they cycled furiously up and down the street. Later on, the girls came by to say hello. D is chatty, her sister more cautious. Both are at The Grange Secondary College, D in Prep and C in Year 2.

D is the sort you can talk about anything with.

Like monsters.

"I sleep on my own cos I kick people," she confided shyly. She told me she and C each have their own room.

"Really? Bethany won't sleep on her own. She says she's afraid of monsters."

"But there are no such things as monsters," retorted D with the wisdom of a 5 y.o.

Pause.

"Monsters are only found in America."

"Perhaps you should tell Bethany that, then maybe she'll sleep in her own room," I suggested.

Fast forward.

The girls and I watched as an Indian salesman from the Origin company (gas and electricity provider) made his rounds.

"My mummy doesn't want him coming into our house, so if he comes, we're to say she's at work, but actually she's at home," said D. "So if he asks you about us, don't tell him my mummy's in okay?"

"It's a secret," I assured her.

Later, an elderly gentleman walked past in the direction of the furthest house. He came back pretty quickly with what looked like a rolled-up newspaper tucked under one arm.

"That man steals people's mail," whispered C.

"Really?" I replied, astonished, and stared at the gentleman as he walked past.

"He goes to people's houses and takes their mail out of their boxes," C elaborated.

We all stared at the mail thief.

To my puzzlement, Beth got to her feet and started trotting parallel to the gentleman as he went by. He smiled at her...then turned into the house on our right.

"Do you know him?" I asked Beth.

"Ya, he's our neighbour...David," Beth explained.

David and Lynn. Our next door neighbours. Hubby and Beth had met them previously, but I hadn't had a chance to make their acquaintance.

Told hubby about it later and he almost fell over laughing. He explained that in our neighbourhood, the practice was for residents to help clear each other's mail boxes if someone was away.

That will teach me to take children at their word.

The Portfolio Careerist

Beth's ambitions since arriving in Oz:

• Be a doctor/nurse - so that she can help make people well
• Be a dressmaker - after she put on the handsewn creations of our friend Shirley
• Be a farmer - after we told her we're going to a farm for our family holiday

When I teased her about constantly changing her mind, she replied, "I don't want to do just one thing. I want to do many things!"

She's definitely in tune with the times. It's all about portfolio careers now isn't it. :)

Restoring Order to the Household

One of the things we struggle with as parents is in instilling personal discipline into family routines.

For eg, Beth has no bedtime routine to speak of. We started out well, with her sleeping on her own bed in her own room as a baby and then a toddler. Then sometime during the 2 years when we had a maid, she fell into the habit of wandering over to our room, and we never managed to get her out of our bed after that. Not only that, she refuses to sleep until we do, which means she goes to bed after 10 pm!

Since coming to Oz, we've all been co-sleeping in the one queen-sized bed. Beth says she's afraid of dreaming of monsters if she sleeps on her own! Bub doesn't yet have her own crib, so imagine the 4 of us having to configure ourselves just so every night so we don't impinge on each other's boundaries (and Bub doesn't get crushed!).

As Beth started kinder this week, the urge to restore some semblance of routine has again become critical. Yesterday provided the perfect breakthrough. Mum had just gone home after 3 weeks, and we had a visit from our friends Tucks & Suan in the evening. In the course of playing with Beth, they learnt about our problem in getting Beth to bed early. They had a chat with her, and managed to wangle a promise out of her to go to bed at 8.30 pm.

It worked a treat!

We all turned in at 8.30 last night and Beth didn't put up a fight. This morning, she rose on her own at 7.30 and was so chirpy, which just proves adequate sleep is a must for every child. Of course, that also means having to start dinner early, so some adjustments will have to be made. Tonight, we had dinner before 7 instead of the usual 8 or 9 pm.

Am really excited about seeing Beth form a new GOOD habit for once!

Kids Can't Be Rushed

My hubby and I notice that Beth can be chatty if she's in the mood, but if she isn't and you push her to behave "politely", she will dig in her heels stubbornly and refuse to fall in with you.

Example:
Mum's pal in Melbourne - Irene - bought Beth a Dr Seuss book.
Mum insisted Beth thank Irene when Irene called to chat with Mum.
Beth was not in the mood and refused.
Mum got upset and felt Beth was being rude and disobedient.
Hubby and I had to explain why Beth behaved the way she did.

Today, Irene called.
Beth happened to be in a good mood.
Mum asked if she would like to thank Irene for her book and the choc cake Irene bought her.
Beth said yes.
Here's what she said excitedly into the receiver: "Aunty Irene, I LOVED your choc cake and the book!"
Result?
Irene is buying her another choc cake!

Beth's Thoughts On Singapore

Mum reports that Beth reduced her to tears today when she said she misses our Sg home with its staircase which she loved running up and down on. Our present place is a single storey unit.

She also misses the meatball spaghetti at Cafe Galilee in NLB @ Compass Point, which we used to frequent. The library we go to here in Werribee doesn't have an in-house cafe, although there is one conveniently located next door.

What Mum found most heartwrenching was when Beth apparently asked, "Can I go back to Singapore with you?" She says it's "so boring here" because eating places are so far away (to save $, we mostly eat at home). Mum figures Beth is lonely and bored without TV to occupy her (!!) and not many friends.

Told Mum the problem would resolve itself when she starts kinder next week and gets into a routine.