Stories for Our Children

What The Girls' Chinese Teachers Think Of Their Progress

2012-02-29T18:35:00.001+11:00

Had a brief mummy moment on Sat when I was given to understand by BOTH my girls' Chinese teachers that they are not up to par.

At Arndell Park, B's teacher called me over after the class.

She was concerned that B had failed to complete her homework and that she needs to work on her ting1 xie3. She suggested I supervise her more.

Thankfully, she's only the relief teacher. The regular teacher is away in China nursing her ailing elderly mother. She has taught B since Grade One, during which I have seen steady progress in B's mastery of the language.

The regular teacher would have been more diplomatic in the way she put the message across.

At Point Cook, J's teacher was even more to the point.

She told J in front of me not to engage in "small talk". I was about to tell J off for chatting with her classmates when I realized (1) I didn't know which classmate she was guilty of chatting with (2) the teacher actually meant that J wasn't speaking up loudly or frequently enough in class.

Not only that, she said J's dictation is "not satisfactory".

Strong views indeed, considering we're in a community language school in the western suburbs of MEL, not an elite scholarship coaching class or SG or Shanghai.

Then again, I have to remember the teachers have a different map of what makes a "good" student. They're probably measuring the kids against what's expected of them as ethnic Chinese students from an Asian country with high academic expectations.

Which presents a dilemma: how do I encourage my child to be more confident in class when (1) she doesn't really want to learn Chinese (2) she's not comfortable speaking cos we don't speak Chinese at home, other than when I'm helping the kids with their homework?

The surface solution is obvious.

The deeper (meta) solution though, is that it's about BALANCE.

I didn't move to AUS for my kids to be measured against their peers in SG and found wanting just because our family's focus is on a well-rounded education and personal development where proficiency in Chinese is just one of many goals.

I am searching myself to be certain there is no defensiveness or ego speaking here.

One interesting thing I noticed about myself as I heard one teacher then another comment on my girls' progress and prowess, was that I was able to stay detached in observer mode.

This is way more resourceful than what my automatic reaction might have been had I focused on what was "wrong" or what needed "fixing".

For now, I'm taking the long-term view.

I will continue helping the kids with their homework, making sure they keep up with their classmates, encouraging them and cheering every tiny bit of progress. I want them to know they are getting better all the time. I want them to stay in that resourceful emotional state that is most receptive to learning, rather than feel discouraged and tempted to quit because their teacher doesn't think they're good enough.

First Parent-Teacher Interview Goes Better Than Expected

2012-02-23T11:04:00.001+11:00

I had spent days agonizing over what to say/not to say, how to couch my words in the 'right' tone so I would convey the 'right' impression...

In the end, it all came down to God's gracious provision and sincerely applying the rapport building skills I built at TCI. I matched and mirrored, said what I needed to say, and went through Beth's portfolio of awards and writing samples page by page, explaining what they were for.

The teacher bowled me over with her responses.

She said she wasn't surprised by Beth's NAPLAN results and achievements at Spellmasters, asked what kind of books she likes to read, made some analytical comments to herself as she glanced at Beth's writing samples ("Yup, she's got structure and sequencing and this and that...") and suggested that Beth type up some of her stories so they can be published i.e. placed on the bookshelf in the classroom.

She asked if Beth has read "Watership Down". I said no. She began to give me a synopsis and critical analysis of the book, and I thought to myself, "She really knows what she's talking about."

I began to feel such a sense of peace and respect for this teacher, for her ability to read people and for her obvious knowledge of the methodology of teaching.

At the end of the ten minutes, I felt like we had come to an unspoken agreement. We're all on the same team, with the same mission and goals.

Most important of all, the teacher actually "gets" Beth after just 2 weeks. The feeling I got, which I can't explain, is that she's a grown-up version of Beth. Maybe Beth is like what she used to be at the same age: smart and a bit quirky and non-conventional.

I'm so glad I pushed past my initial misperceptions and misgivings to pursue what I felt to be in my child's highest interests.

I am thoroughly convinced that Beth is in good hands, and that she is where she's meant to be.

The Girls and Chinese

2012-02-15T19:51:00.002+11:00

I've noticed an interesting development with the girls.

Despite many grumblings about their weekly homework, they are actually making good progress (by my standards), and starting to become unconsciously competent - giving the right answers and joining the dots without being able to fully articulate what is happening.

To me, that is quite a breakthrough, especially for the little one. To watch her recognize her numbers and strokes is so inspiring, because she is pretty much starting from a blank slate. She's showing more interest in her Chinese DVDs than she did when she was 4, and volitionally watches them with interest and intention.

Week Two at GNLC

2012-02-15T19:34:00.001+11:00

Another great Chapel session today.

Feels like my midweek spiritual nourishment - Wed is just the perfect day in the week to be reminded of truths about God and what's required of me as a Christian. Today's message from Ps Mark to the kids was that Faith means Trust and Obedience.

The girls continue to acquire new friends. Love how J confidently marches up to a teacher or aide to say "Hello Mrs B!" or "Hello Mrs E!" and the way they respond with such lovingkindness and on a first-name basis. How DO they remember the kids' names??

Am meeting B's class teacher tomorrow after school to discuss her learning ability and past achievements at Heathdale, Spellmasters and Kumon. I don't want the teacher to mistake me for a tiger mum, but I do want to be sure B's academic ability is recognized and nurtured and that she is appropriately stretched in all areas of the curriculum while she is at GNLC.

First Day of School 2012

2012-02-06T20:30:00.001+11:00

2012-01-31T18:48:00.001+11:00

My child gives me courage.

Tonight, Miss J helped me catch a cockroach that popped up while Miss B was drawing on the carpet.

Miss B shrieked and ran for the bedroom.

Miss J hung around to help.

She kept an eye on the cockroach's movements while I worked out what would be the best way to nab the gross creature.

Normally, I leave pest control to hubby, but unfortunately he wasn't home yet, so it was up to me.

I got on my rubber gloves and a plastic bag, but C wouldn't cooperate. We shifted the furniture around as C tried to elude us by climbing the wall. Finally I asked Miss J to get me a glass jar with lid. I tipped C off the wall into the jar, screwed the lid on tight and placed the jar on the bench for hubby to 'inspect' when he walked through the door.

"Why don't we flush it down the toilet?" suggested Miss J. "That's what Daddy does."

I did as she suggested and together we watched C finally get flushed away.

I congratulated Miss J on a job well done and for her bravery. I also wisely chose not to compare her with her sis, so I didn't say what was on the tip of my tongue, "You're so much braver than your sister."

That would have been very uncool.

2012-01-25T21:48:00.000+11:00

This has been a fascinating week for me observing the kids.

On Mon night, hubby's college friend E and her hubby D, and her sons I and S, visited us at home. They have lived in Sydney since 2003 and the last time we saw them, Beth was a newborn (the one-month-old party) and the boys must have been about 7 or 8. S is now in Year 11 and his older bro will soon read Economics and Law at ANU.

What was really interesting was watching how the girls reacted when I told them we were having visitors, which would include two teenage boys.

Beth became very motivated. She showered without being reminded or nagged. Did her hair all by herself and impeccably, for the first time in her life (she is normally very 随便, hair falling out of her hairclips and hairties, very unkempt appearance). She sat on my lap for most of the evening, listening to the adult conversation while reading an Amelia Peabody mystery.

Miss J took a different approach. She stayed in the lounge the whole time, got out her toys and paper and textas, and started drawing. When S wandered out to see what was happening, she engaged him in her chatty 5 yo way. No shyness or reticence at all. She was just being herself, in her familiar territory, eager to show the visitor what she loved doing.

On Tue, the girls played so well together that I remarked to hubby how rare it was. And he agreed.

Today, they were back to the usual. One would want a toy, the other would want it also. B would refuse to share, J would insist on having the game her own way. La di da.

2012-01-19T00:24:00.002+11:00

Tested Miss J again with WOMBAT, KIWI, CUCKOO and KOALA.

She is still spelling them perfectly!

VICTORIA is a bit of a challenge though. She can get up to VIC-TO, then she forgets what the last chunk is. More work needed here. It is a fairly long word for a 5 yo.

NLP is simply amazing.

Now to spread the word...

2012-01-19T00:22:00.001+11:00

Beth stunned me twice this week by actually trying out her new Grade 3 Piano for Leisure pieces.

In four years of learning piano, she has never shown this level of interest.

On hindsight, allowing her to make the decision to switch from classical AMEB to PFL is turning out to be one of our better parenting decisions.

Batman's Theme and Gershwin's Fascinating Rhythm are so much more FUN, UNSTRUCTURED and ... HER.

NLP Learning Strategies

2012-01-16T11:49:00.001+11:00

At NLP Prac in Dec, we learned NLP spelling strategies and how to teach them to children.

I've been practising them on and off on Miss J, who just turned 5.

Before her birthday, I taught her to spell VICTORIA and AUSTRALIA.

The minute she clinched it, I posted this update our intake's FB page. One of my fellow coaches was so inspired she said she's going to spend the summer hols teaching her Grade Prep son to spell so he can "shock" his teacher when he starts Grade One. :)

Last night, I taught Miss J to spell WOMBAT, KOALA and CUCKOO.

This morning, I tested her again...and she could spell the words perfectly.

Tony Robbins is right. Even with my amateurish style, it works. Imagine what I can contribute once I have learned to do it confidently!

At church yesterday, I had the opportunity to speak with the father of one of our SS kids who struggles with literacy and spelling. The son is a kinaesthetic learner but because the school system focusses so much on visual and auditory learning, he can't keep up. He's good with numbers, putting things together (Lego) and loves handheld computer games.

I'm wondering how to use this knowledge to help him be more engaged at school and in SS.

The goal is to have a chat with his mum before the school year starts. I want to share with her the NLP spelling strategy and to invite her and her son to a session where I will teach him the strategy and elicit his motivation strategy so he can rediscover his love of learning and his aptitude for it. He has the potential to become so much more than he is currently defined by.

Nice pic of Beth from Spellmasters Oct 2011

2011-12-29T18:21:00.002+11:00

Beth - Musical and Academic Achievements 2011

2011-12-19T20:30:00.003+11:00

PIANO/KEYBOARD ACHIEVEMENTS

ACADEMIC EXCELLENCE AWARDS

2011-12-19T19:14:00.002+11:00

Beth is on a roll.

This afternoon, she went for her last Kumon Math class of the year, and came out beaming.

She received a cert and a medal that says she is now an Advanced Student and that she is studying at a level 6 months ahead of Kumon International Standard. Not sure how that corresponds to Victorian Essential Learning Standards.

Have challenged her to raise the bar next year.

The last few weeks have been challenging for her and she has actually fallen behind in her schedule. Got her to write out a daily schedule to get back on track with one-workbook-a-day.

2011-12-16T21:51:00.001+11:00

It's 16 Dec 2011 and what a huge year it's been for Beth.

She's been in a 2/3 composite class, the first of its kind at Heathdale in years (and possibly the last). She's been mentored by one of the best teachers in the school, been stretched academically and socially, has made and lost friends, and discovered aspects of herself she probably wasn't aware of (such as her sense of justice and fairness).
At Monday's final Junior School assembly, she received the Principal's Award for Academic Excellence in All Areas of the Curriculum as well as a Certificate of Excellence for Latin (her favourite subject, alongside Art).
Tonight, we received a call from her piano teacher informing us that Beth received an A for her AMEB Grade 2 piano exam. It's been a rollercoaster year for her musically and I hadn't expected more than a B+ considering her lack of consistency and lack of discipline.
She has successfully transited from emotional meltdown-resentment-denial to acceptance to enthusiastic embracing of her move to a new school in 2012.
She has taken up a new instrument: DRUMS. Who woulda thunk??
She has made the decision to discontinue Yamaha group keyboard after four years and to continue with private piano lessons, and to switch from AMEB to Piano for Leisure. (There go my dreams of a music scholarship in Grade 7...)
She participated in Spellmasters Aus for the first time and won the Juniors and Seniors rounds respectively in Sep and Oct. At the finals, she got soundly thrashed. What a great reality check when everything else has come so easily.
She stuck with Kumon Math for a whole year and we've definitely seen a quantum leap in her ability.
She achieved Maxi Green in swimming at Paul Sadler and is looking forward tothe next level (Pumpkin). Love taking her to lessons and watching her do her thing. Another side of her (confidence, drive, persistence) comes through when she's in the water. She even signed up for the Grade 3 swim carnival earlier in the year. I was so proud of her for rocking up to practices at 7 am every week at Werribee Outdoor Pool even though she was nowhere close to competition level compared to some of her peers.
She's been in the school choir and ensemble this year and has discovered her love of singing (something my husband and I enjoy). The choir recently went carolling at a retirement home and the Werribee Plaza. We got to see them in action on Presentation Night last month and it never fails to touch me how much effort is put in by the teacher (Mrs Alice Cheong) and the students.

I'm going to take a leaf from my Aussie friends and say how proud I am of Beth's journey thus far. It's more than about grades and awards. It's about who she's becoming as a person and how our relationship is evolving as she matures.

Someone has described the parent-child relationship as a DANCE. And that is the perfect metaphor for it. Sometimes I lead, sometimes she leads.

I believe God uses the parenting process to shape and refine me as a person. It takes humility, openness, empathy, persistence and consistency to be the kind of parent my child needs me to be, the kind my parent wasn't for me.

At the NLP training I attended recently, I was reminded by my mentor that I can let go of the negative experience of parenting I received from my mother. It is time to forge a new future for my children by being the parent that I want them to have.

2011-11-29T12:42:00.001+11:00

Beth had her final HCC Junior School Presentation Night last Thu.

It was a night of firsts and lasts.

It was B's first time taking happy snaps with her friends. Because she won't be around to share the experience with them next year.

How wonderful to see that my Little Durian has made new friends despite being in a different class from her best friends this year.

It was B's first time getting picked for a leading role. She was given the honour of reciting Psalm 100 by heart and leading the Grade 3s in their AUSLAN rendition of same. She only told us of it the night before and hubby and I are so proud of her.

Our reticent firstborn has really come into her own after just four years at HCC.

2011-11-17T20:44:00.001+11:00

Miss B went for her first drumming class at Universal Music School this week.

Couldn't help noticing the stark contrast between her demeanour in drumming class vs. Yamaha keyboard/AMEB lesson.

With the latter, she slouches at the keyboard (even in class), blitzes for 10 minutes or so (one piece, one time), avoids scales and sight reading if she can get away with it, and lets days go by without practising.

With drumming, she came home so enthused. Her face practically lit up as she talked about what she had learned. And after CA bought her her very own pair of drumsticks, she dutifully practised on piles of newspapers, even explaining to me what rhythms she was playing.

It's early days, but I have an inkling Miss B may have found an instrument that is more "her" in style and personality.

4 more lessons to go before end of term, and then we'll decide whether to sign her up for next year.

Spellmasters Round 7 @ Ashburton Library (30 Oct 2011)

2011-10-30T22:26:00.001+11:00

Getting Ready For Spellmasters Round 7

2011-10-28T11:41:00.003+11:00

2011-10-26T20:04:00.000+11:00

Listening to Miss B practise her AMEB and JXC Repertoire pieces.

Particularly impressed by the fiery passion in her Flamenco Dancer rendition - that piece really suits her temperament.

Not making much progress in her scales though.

Am very conscious that I don't have much control over practices and outcomes here. Miss B constantly proves that she has an independent mind and a rebellious streak.

2011-10-12T19:54:00.000+11:00

Am so enjoying Miss J's blossoming verbal prowess.

Tonight, as I admired her drawings of animals, she responded, "I copied them from the book. They inspired me."

I relayed her use of 'inspired' to hubby and even he was impressed.

Lately, she's been watching Barbie videos with Miss B: Mermaidia, A Fashion Fairytale, Fairy Secret. FS is her favourite. She can watch it over and over and tonight, she displayed how much of the script has actually embedded itself in her memory.

She can recite, with 100% accuracy, the entire exchange from when Taylor and Carrie are trapped in the Fury Sphere by Princess Graciela and are trying out different gadgets to help them escape, to Raquelle and Barbie realizing, as they sit in a cage, that their tense relationship is due to them misunderstanding each other.

It's just incredible what a motivated human mind can achieve.

If a 4 yo can do so much, what about the rest of us?

2011-10-06T18:53:00.002+11:00

These have been the most relaxing school hols ever.

For nearly 2 weeks now, we've been doing nothing but hang out at home. Waking up at 10 in the morning and staying up really late. The girls entertain themselves (except when they get hungry and restive). Books, toys, videos and ABC 4 Kids have all received a really good workout.

Both girls have found a common love: Barbie. Even I, who have never liked Barbie dolls, can't help liking her in her videos. Barbie: A Fashion Fairytale and Barbie: A Fairy Secret are our favourites. Love the impeccably stylish heroines, girl power storyline, cool lines (which Jordanne knows by heart) and cool music.

Will be very sorry when 11 Oct rolls around and I have to confront school lunches and early mornings for another 10 weeks.

2011-09-15T12:38:00.000+10:00

I am so proud of Miss B.

It's been 10 months since we made the decision to apply to GNLC and submitted the forms.

Since that time, our family has ridden the rollercoaster together, watching (sometimes powerlessly) and working together as Miss B went through her journey of denying, working through and now accepting and even embracing the reality of changing schools.

She can now talk matter-of-factly about school uniforms and orientation, when the mere mention of anything to do with the transition would have sent her into meltdown previously.

The other day, we had to fill in the green form that confirms whether a student is staying on at HCC in 2012, and Miss B was able to report that after she handed in her form, it became classroom knowledge that she is leaving the school.

And she showed no signs of being upset about it, which I thought was so great.

She's even taking the initiative to let her friends know she's moving on, and to give out my business cards so they can keep in touch. Because of this, a few of her classmates' mums have come up to me to chat about this subject.

She is growing up so quickly and I often make the mistake of underestimating her.

I love the random glimpses of the real Miss B (minus the bluntness, ego, sarcasm and smart-alecky responses) that pop up here and there.
The other day, she looked up from her homework and said, "Someday Mum, I'm going to repay you all my school fees."

I bit back the urge to say "you don't have to", and chose to say "thank you" and silently accept the offer for what it was, a gift from a 9 yo given with 100% sincerity from a pure heartspace.

2011-08-27T21:03:00.002+10:00

Miss B has started letting some of her classmates know that she won't be at Heathdale next year.

She's even giving out Mum's business cards - with our home phone number written on it - so her friends can keep in touch.

Guess this is a good sign that she's starting to embrace the change that's coming into her life.

2011-08-16T12:52:00.002+10:00

Miss J had her first swimming lesson with a new class and instructor today.

I watched with pride and astonishment as she confidently kicked off and swam, even before her instructor had signalled her to go.

And though she didn't know anybody, she was chatting away with the other little girls as though she's known them for ages.

What a huge transformation from Term 1, when she wouldn't let go of my leg and cried every time swimming day came around.

After the class, I praised her for doing well and trying her best and she said, "It was nothing Mum. Absolutely nothing. I just copied what my teacher did."

I just copied what my teacher did.

Profundity - again - from the mouths of babes.

And such a timely reminder of what we're learning at TCI: to model ourselves on those who have succeeded.

2011-08-13T19:11:00.002+10:00

Have been asked by Beth's piano teacher whether we want her to sit the AMEB Grade 2 this year.

It's 4 months to year-end, Nov is the latest available slot and NONE of Miss B's exam pieces are in a state to be presented to the examiner.

If I say she's not ready and put this off to 2012, I'll feel like I'm letting her off easy. She has been fighting to take piano and AMEB off her to-do list, and we've been resisting because we believe music is a non-negotiable part of her learning journey.

If I say she'll be ready, it will have to be because Miss B herself agrees to commit to put in the hours and takes ownership of the process of getting from half-baked to perfectly polished.

The carrot we've offered is a holiday at RACV Royal Pines Resort in Jan, because that's her big ask.

And we've explained that a big ask has to be earned by a big effort, which means a great attitude, consistent practice and an A+ for the exam.

Miss B has said yes to all the conditions, but is having difficulty chunking it down to the daily one-hour practice.

Soldier on, we must. For the sake of the character that is being formed and the virtues that are being developed.

2011-08-13T19:03:00.002+10:00

The girls are getting very competitive...in a not very good way.

Miss J bristles at the slightest suggestion that she is not yet able to do what big jie jie can do.

Miss B cries if we notice how well Miss J is doing, as though her little sister is muscling into her territory and trying to usurp her role as firstborn - the one who was there first and who knows more.

2011-07-19T13:33:00.002+10:00

This afternoon, Miss J tried to entice me into sitting down with her for a spell of ABC Kids.

"Would you like a cushion for your feet?" "Would you like something to lean on?"

She is nothing if not hospitable.

"No, I just want a cuddle and a hug," I teased.

She immediately climbed into my lap and lay face down on me, like she did as a baby.

"I will always be here for you," she promised solemnly.

2011-07-15T17:20:00.003+10:00

Miss J has a gift for profound thinking and conversations.

Yesterday, the topic of ageing came up.

"I want to grow up fast," insisted Miss J.

"Don't grow up too fast, otherwise it means Mummy is getting old fast too," I joked.

"When you grow up, you'll become the grandmother. The grandmother that lives with me," Miss J predicted.

"Why thank you! How very kind of you."

Then J's face crumpled.

"I don't want you to get old. I don't want you to get a wrinkly face. I want you to always be my mummy!"

And she crumpled up, sobbing.

My heart broke to see her so distressed.

What words could I use to comfort a 4 yo whose purity and innocence had led her to the realization that growing older is a precursor to death and loss and sadness?

I did the first thing that came to mind. I hugged Miss J tightly and assured her that however old I got, I would always be her mummy.

I don't know if that helped. But she seemed to get over the moment and regain her usual joyful exuberance.

Guess I'll have to wait till the subject comes up again.

2011-06-22T23:38:00.003+10:00

HCC has offered to archive Miss J's enrolment file and has advised that we ring up the Enrolment Office to reactivate it whenever we need to. Her application will then be considered along with other applications as vacancies arise.

Isn't that a nice way to handle the situation?

Hubby and I are impressed.

2011-06-22T17:46:00.003+10:00

刘老师 has asked for feedback on a possible morning session for Chinese class.

Judging from the responses, most parents seem to prefer morning session to afternoon.

Which leaves us in the minority, cos Beth has keyboard/piano in the mornings.

Another development we particularly approve of is doing away with the no-class-on-long-weekends policy.

The school used to give students the Sat off if it was a long weekend, but this year, they decided to change strategy. Students continue to have lessons on Queen's Birthday and Melbourne Cup weekends, but the benefit is that they finish the term early. So this Sat 25 June is the last lesson for Term 2, whereas Beth's Yamaha class would probably continue right up to 2 July.

2011-06-13T21:25:00.004+10:00

How do I motivate my child to practise the piano?

The daily tug-of-war - nagging, threats, yelling, emotional blackmail, coloured by the occasional flash of musical brilliance, but marked mostly by defiance, procrastination and painfully bad playing - is exhausting.

If not for her, then certainly for me.

I sometimes wonder if she would not be better off having a year off AMEB.

But then my logical mind protests:
"She'll be one year behind her peers!"
"She'll lose momentum and not want to learn piano anymore!"
"How will she be on track to get a music scholarship by Year 6 if she eventually decides she loves music?"

Tonight, Miss B was in a malleable mood.

So I asked her to rate her own effort as she played Minuet in G.

Each time, she gave herself a higher score than before. 6, then 7.5, then 9.75.

"How much more before you give yourself a ten?"

"Just this much more." She made her thumb and index finger into a circle.

Just for fun, I said "Why don't you try playing with your toes?"

You should have seen the gleam in her eyes, and the way her mouth tilted upwards.

She loves quirky challenges, you see.

And immediately she started playing Minuet with her right foot.

2011-06-09T11:08:00.004+10:00

Our family is having great fun with the Wind In The Willows movie adaptation of the novel. It's done like the Tales of Peter Rabbit videos: actual people narrating and introducing the story, then the animation (and the real fun!) begins.

I have lovely memories of playing Wind In The Willows at JC with my Humanities friends. I was Mole because of my poor eyesight, Seok was Toad, Pam declared herself Badger "because he's the wise one". Can't quite remember who was the Water Rat though.

Miss J knows all the characters now.She claims Mole, Rat and Badger as her friends, and loves to make fun of silly ol' Toad. ("Poop-poop!")

She particularly enjoys delighting us with her rendition of Toad singing his own welcome-home song after defeating the stoats and weasels with the help of his friends (much like Odysseus returning home to set his house in order after a long absence) -

"When the toad came home..."

If you've never heard this song, have a listen here. The sheer hubris of it will make you laugh.

Full lyrics here.

2011-06-01T10:31:00.005+10:00

Never underestimate the power of Barbie.

I never liked dolls as a child, and disliked Barbie particularly for its overt twee factor. And Ken? Eeewww.

Then along comes Barbie in animation form.

One day not long ago, Miss J and I were shopping and she saw the Barbie: A Fashion Fairytale DVD.

I don't even know why I picked it up, much less paid for it, but I can assure you it has changed our lives.

Both the girls LOVE Barbie.

They sing the songs in the DVD - "I wanna be someone, feel something..." "Get your sparkle on, show the world where you belong..."

I have to admit, they're pretty catchy songs. Heavy on the girl power factor, you know?

And the storyline. The right blend of drama, twists, humour, and characters you recognize or that you aspire to be...it's all here.

The dorky boyfriend.

The girl who treats everyone with kindness and respect, takes the time to bring out the best in those who are going through tough times, and who happens to look gorgeous and stylish even when it's raining on the streets of Paris and she's just been fired from her job and dumped by her boyfriend.

The shy apprentice who, when told she is a great designer, says she just makes dresses sometimes.

The pragmatic business owner who acknowledges that her time is up and prepares for a new phase in life by picking up cool hobbies usually associated with teenagers.

The silver-tongued rival designer who steals others' designs and passes them off as her own, constantly talking her talent up and hogging the press.

Miss J has watched the movie so many times she can recite lines perfectly, with the appropriate expression.

And I have to tell you the movie's got some great themes and thought provokers.

"If your audience doesn't like what you do, does it make sense to continue?"

That was the question Barbie and her aunt Millicent had to ponder. One had just been fired from her leading lady role because she spoke her opinion. The other had decided to shut down her fashion house because people no longer loved the dresses she designed.

The 8 yo has been using that line (which just happens to coincide with her own thinking) to query why she must learn AMEB piano.

She likes reading and art, and already gets enough music stimulation through school and Yamaha. Why bother with piano and practice and exams and grades?

So I have to explain that in life, you don't only do the things you like. Some things are necessary to learn because they are essential life skills. Or they are part of your duty and obligation. Or they help to develop your whole brain (like classical music).

I'm not sure if the message is getting through, but maybe if we continue to explore strategies for her to cope with learning the piano and she gains confidence and experiences success, she will eventually want to do this for herself.

Last night, we started a new experiment. It's based on something I noticed about my own piano playing ability. I found that I can play a new piece fairly well if I've first heard it played professionally several times. Because I already know how it ought to sound, I sort of bypass the sight reading bit (which is my weak spot) and play by instinct and memory.

I gave Beth the portable DVD player and headphones and her AMEB CD, and she listened to Intrada several times before she went to bed.

We are going to do this every night this week and see how it affects her playing.

2011-06-01T10:28:00.002+10:00

Am waiting for the day Beth plays Graupner's Intrada in C Major like this...

2011-05-26T12:14:00.002+10:00

Beth is doing a project on national anthems.

She started with Majulah Singapura, and it gave me a lovely twang in the heart when I sang it out to her. Almost couldn't finish singing properly, haha. What a sook.

Then she copied out the English national anthem lyrics, and we had a good discussion about the political zeal and aspirations of the British Empire and its citizens, and how different stanzas mention the Queen first then the King later.

According to Wikipedia, England has no official national anthem. God Save The Queen is just one of several national songs sung at national events e.g. sporting events. It is however used in a number of Commonwealth realms and British Crown dependencies and there have been calls for a unique national anthem to be adopted specifically for England.

I've never had a good look at the lyrics before, and made such delightful discoveries as this one.

O Lord our God arise
Scatter her enemies and make them fall
Confound their politics
Frustrate their knavish tricks
On Thee our hopes we fix,
God save us all.

On to the German national anthem and the American one.

I'm learning as much as Beth, or maybe more, since I have the benefit of a larger perspective.

Competitive Mums

2011-05-24T20:19:00.004+10:00

As an incentive to getting their times tables right, Beth's class teacher has been giving out MTKs (Multiplication Table Kits).

Once a student is able to recite the entire times tables by heart in front of the class, he/she gets the MTK.

It is considered a milestone as here in Australia there is less of a pressure on students to perform and to achieve to a set standard. (Singaporeans will know what I mean.)

In Beth's class, an unusual situation has developed.

She is in a 2/3 composite class, with half the class made up of Grade 2s. Many of them were hand-picked for their ability to learn independently and think laterally. In other words, they're smarter than the average Grade 2. They read at the same level as the best Grade 3s in the class and are eager to follow in their footsteps.

Among them are 4 or 5 Grade 2s who are so good at math they received their MTKs right after T did. T is a Grade 3 boy who has consistently done well in math since he and Beth were in prep together.

I know several of the mums of these promising Grade 2s. Both are Asian. (Think "tiger mother".)

One of them expressed surprise one day when I corrected her assumption that Beth had already received her MTK. She was obviously pleased that her son, who is a year younger, had outdone Beth in math and music. She has never attempted to hide the fact that her son considers Beth an academic rival and uses her as a benchmark of his progress.

In the same breath that she mentioned her son was inviting Beth and T to his birthday party, she said he had specially chosen them because they are his "competitors".

I laughed then.

But reflecting on the remark and the values and beliefs beneath them, I also feel a tinge of sadness.

Because while academic striving is a good thing (and trust me, I know all about this), life is so much more than our grades and our ability to achieve milestones ahead of our peers.

Topping the class is a great feeling, but it's not the most important thing about school.

Ultimately, most of the class will get 'there'. Some of us just have a talent for getting there quicker. To my recollection, no employer has asked me "So how old were you when you mastered your times tables?"

I have always encouraged Beth to do well at school, at her Chinese lessons and her music practice. Sometimes, I fear I push her too hard. So lately, I have tried to counterbalance this by scaling back on my expectations of her AMEB piano, and to not make a fuss if she chooses to practise just 2 pieces instead of all her pieces and scales,or if she practises for 15 minutes instead of 30. Instead, I tell myself it's good that she at least put in some effort to practise.

As a Singaporean parent, I have definitely regressed in my standards.

It is only this year, being faced with mums who clearly have similarly high expectations of their progeny, that I have come to appreciate the double-edged nature of academic competitiveness.

I ask myself if I want Beth to pay the price I did as a student.

So I feel compelled to take a stand against mindless, at-all-costs striving where there is no time to take a breather, no space to celebrate and marvel in your persistence, hard work and achievement, no opportunity to take stock, no time to have fun.

I'm against the relentless forging ahead, the constant dissatisfaction with your laurels, where one is driven not by the desire to live fully to one's potential but by fear that one may 'fall behind' if one fails to 'keep up'.

Even though it feels like I am betraying my tribe and my upbringing, and even though I have no clear idea yet how I will do this, I choose what I hope is an alternative path - a better way - for my children. One that comfortably integrates academic excellence with excellence in all areas of life: health, wealth, relationships, career, spirituality, contribution, self-expression, creativity.

2011-05-23T20:59:00.003+10:00

Beth made a startlingly self-aware statement tonight.

"I admit (pause) my music needs work."

She proceeded to the keyboard to warm up, playing some random tunes.

Then she quickly went through her Solfege and Repertoire pieces, spending the most time polishing Comical Train, the ensemble piece the class is performing for the annual concert.

And that was it.

She was off to watch bits of Sinbad with Daddy and to do a bit more of her school assignment: writing about the national anthems of different countries.

I have consciously decided to hold back on the nagging and guilt trips and threats. While I cannot understand how my child can be so laid back and not want to excel at her music, I realize also that she is different from me and what worked on me (nagging, guilt trips, threats) won't work on her.

As they say, insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

Perhaps as she matures, she will come to realize that excellence requires doing the hours and applying oneself consistently.

For now, I choose to close one eye and be contented with the fact that she is doing well at school and in her Chinese lessons.

Beth's Bent

2011-05-22T02:54:00.002+10:00

Visual (loves to draw)
Literacy (loves to read, has excellent comprehension)
Flair for musical improvisation, composition
Flair for drama (can be funny, though selective about showing this side)

2011-05-12T21:04:00.000+10:00

Am very pleased with how Beth is progressing in her Chinese this year.

She's doing her homework pretty much on her own, showing a lot more motivation and drive than last year.

I still remember how she used to have these meltdowns in the carpark where she would refuse to get out of the car to go to class.

Now she doesn't complain about learning the language or Sat classes, and has actually amassed an admirable vocab and her reading ability has improved significantly as well.

So glad we didn't give up when the going was hard.

Now we're waiting for the same miracle to happen with her AMEB piano.

Happy Cry

2011-05-02T20:15:00.001+10:00

Miss J tells me a happy cry is when you are so happy you cry.

When she came home from kinder with her newly acquired wisdom, she wanted to know - like every 30 seconds - why I wasn't having a happy cry yet.

Kids, aren't they gorgeous. :)

Beth sings Above All

2011-04-28T11:50:00.003+10:00

Beth learns the value of self-discipline

2011-04-28T11:41:00.004+10:00

Beth learned the importance of Self-Discipline yesterday.

I had asked her to do a stocktake of her Kumon workbooks before today's lesson.

To her horror, she discovered that she still had 11 workbooks to complete!

I impressed upon her the life lesson that had been revealed by her inaction. We did a quick calculation and worked out that if she took 10 min per workbook, she could complete them all in about 2 hours.

To her credit, she buckled down and got working, though not without the occasional extended break and show of rebellion.

At 9 pm, she was down to the final two and she decided that she could and would finish them.

It was wonderful to see her make up her own mind about the matter without any parental pressure. A breakthrough in maturity indeed.

She eventually finished one and took herself off to bed, declaring she would finish the other after school today and before Kumon.

Bethany Recommends

2011-04-20T16:44:00.004+10:00

Bethany's favourite new book - Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga' Hoole by Kathryn Lasky, a gift from Uncle Tucks and Aunty Suan on the last day of our recent holiday in Sg.

"The most inspiring book I've ever read. It's about friendship, bravery, loyalty, persistence, belief..."

How the 4 yo pronounces words

2011-04-20T16:37:00.001+10:00

Without = Ber-out

Just = Des

2011-04-01T18:20:00.002+11:00

So proud of Miss J.

She decided one day that she's ready to stand under the shower.

So for more than a week now, I've not had to mess with the leaky taps in the long bath, bend over to wash her - or worry that she might drown if I'm away in the kitchen.

She even consented to be showered with the other kids when she went for her swimming class.

Done and dusted in under 2 minutes. Save water, save time. Yes!!!

Good News Gang

2011-03-24T09:38:00.005+11:00

To ease Beth into her future school environment, hubby and I have decided to let her resume attending Good News Gang at Suburban Baptist Church from now on.

Last night was her first GNG session this year.

Good News Gang runs during school term every Wed from 7-8.30 pm. Most kids that go are either from HCC or GNLS. Under supervision, the kids play games like Port/Starboard, learn Bible stories the hands-on way (with the story of Elijah, they built a fire outside and burned a plastic toy cow!), enjoy snacks and drinks, make new friends and generally have a ball. They are divided into small groups according to their ages, so Beth gets to hang out with her school friends, plus other kids from GNLS.

Beth used to go to GNG with her best friend K, with K's mum cheerfully running a taxi service and picking up various other kids to go along. But K and Beth are in different classes this year, and the opportunities for interaction have been fewer. Which also means each of them has moved on and made other friends that they now spend more time with.

I used to be anxious about Beth's emotional and social development as she is an introvert like me, who takes ages to warm up and show her friendlier side. She doesn't even do hugs. She just stands stiffly with arms by her side and lets her friends hug her. A real durian.

Anyway, yesterday morning we met K at school and I nudged Beth to go over and ask if K was going to GNG. K said yes but she couldn't take Beth because she was taking Z and one more person would make it too squishy in the car.

When Beth came back with her report, I made a concerned comment, thinking she might feel rejected by K.

To my surprise, Beth said that was okay.

And she smiled.

Cheerfully.

Then she waved goodbye and went on her way to get ready for the morning line-up.

When I told hubby, he commented: "She has matured."

Good news indeed.

Kinder update

2011-03-21T21:56:00.003+11:00

Miss J is enjoying kinder so much she has let me go without even a "Goodbye Mum".

No more tears and tanties, whew.

She's already talking about play dates with Emily and Olivia. Or is it Stephanie?

And since last week she's been playing with Catherine.

I can foresee a new circle of playdates and friendships blossoming, especially if the kiddies and Miss J go to the same primary school next year.

Music for pleasure

2011-03-21T21:04:00.002+11:00

Life has been more pleasant since I let go of the reins of supervision and involved hubby in Beth's keyboard practice.

Now he takes her to Sat morning class while I go for my dance class.

When she practises, he calls out encouraging comments from the couch.

He doesn't tell her how to play, unless it's something explicit the teacher has recorded in the notebook.

I've taken a leaf from hubby and scaled back drastically in my tendency to nag and criticize and to never be satisfied with anything less than perfection.

The result: practices are less tearful for Beth and less stressful for me.

I love seeing her take more initiative in how she practises, like when she explains why she is playing a certain way and what she hopes to achieve.

With her AMEB piano, I still take a more active approach, playing duets alongside her and setting high goals. It's very frustrating having to 'lower' myself to her level and watch her struggle with her sightreading and neglect her scales, or when she can't 'get' a particular rhythm.

Now and then I ask myself if I'm making her do AMEB for her or for me.

Am I putting her through the hard yards simply because I had to do them when I was her age and it's the done thing?

But it's been worth working at a more balanced approach to parental involvement.

And I have my dance teacher to thank. Because she changed the session time from 12.30 pm to 11.30 am, I have an 'excuse' to let hubby be the one to take Beth to Yamaha.

When one door opens...

2011-03-21T13:06:00.003+11:00

On 17 March, the die was cast.

We got a call from GNLS asking if Beth and Miss J could come in for an interview the following afternoon. And could Beth please bring her latest school reports.

Miss J was so excited she kept telling everyone - her kinder teachers included - "I'm going to see my new principal today!"

Until we reached the school carpark...and discovered she was sound asleep.

Miss J is one of those kids who cannot be roused when she's in deep sleep.

"Jordanne, wake up! We're going to see your principal!" just didn't work with her.

So I had to carry her in my arms and lumber into the P's office, with Beth helping me carry the bag containing her reports and application papers.

I was proud of how Beth conducted herself during the interview, the charmingly frank way she talked about her composite class and specialist subjects and how she enjoys being part of the choir and ensemble.

Most of all, I am grateful that Beth has come to accept (not in a resigned bo pian way but with a positive attitude) that she will be changing school, uniform, friendships, routine etc from next year. She has truly matured in the last 2 years.

I was also impressed by the P's understanding manner, her communication and leadership skills, and the effort she put in to get both girls into the school. Perhaps the school reports helped, as well as our explanation that Beth had been doing extension work since prep, and is currently doing extension Literacy and Numeracy.

As she explained it, the prep enrolment for 2012 is full (such is GNLS' rising popularity). The only way she can think of is to accept Beth into Grade 3 this year or Grade 4 next year, and have Miss J come in as a prep sibling, which automatically guarantees her a place.

At one point, she popped out to discuss the matter with her leadership coordinator, and came back to announce that the latter supported her proposal.

I wished Calvin could have been there to make the decision with me, but he was at work. So I took my many questions and self-doubts in both hands and asked how the school would cater to students who wanted to achieve more. (I was careful to phrase that positively so as not to appear like one of those annoying parents who think their kids are super smart and deserve special treatment.)

I also explained that we would like Beth to stay at HCC for the duration of 2011 because of the unusual circumstances with her 2/3 composite class, which is new to the school, the teacher and the students involved.

The P accepted that, and we said yes to her offer of Grade 4 for 2012 for Beth and prep for Miss J.

I know we have made the decision that is practical for our family, but I cannot say I have absolutely no doubt we have done the right thing. If I only focused on what Beth is going to miss out - Year 5 camp, Latin, French and Chinese (which was one reason we opted for HCC to start with), ensemble - the fear that I have done the wrong thing by my child would break my heart.

I am not looking forward to breaking the news to the school mums I have grown close to: Jo, Carmel, Yvonne, Louie, Cassandra, my neighbour Sebby...

Not to mention nearly all of Sunday School.

But I also think of the mums at kinder who are considering Woodville PS, the non-HCC kids who do Kumon every Mon and Thu alongside Beth, other friends here who have opted to send their kids to the neighbourhood school/Catholic school, the relatively low cost (and high standard) of education in SG.

And I know HCC cannot be the only or 'best' choice.

Not when it causes so much financial strain for 10 months of the year as we work out how to pay $562 a month in school fees on top of the mortgage and other expenses. And that is for just one child.

Learning Mandarin

2011-03-16T20:11:00.002+11:00

The 4 yo is doing better than anyone expected.

She can recite three 儿歌, is amazingly enthusiastic about reading her textbooks and doing her homework, and pronounces her 汉语拼音 in an adorable Aussie accent.

Won't be long before she catches up with Big 姐姐。

Sibling affection

2011-03-14T13:19:00.004+11:00

My heart warms when I see the girls play together.

It wasn't so long ago that all Beth did was growl at Miss J. On bad days, she even rued having prayed for a baby sister.

They started growing closer last year and now that Miss J is 4, goes to kinder and has a decent vocab, Beth enjoys her company much more.

They dress their dolls, play with blocks, Polly Pocket, cooking...

Family harmony and learning to enjoy each other's company.

That's what it's all about.

Transition to kinder: It's over

2011-02-21T14:09:00.002+11:00

Today marked the start of the full kindergarten timetable.

For our family, it meant being very very precise in our routine. No hiccups were permissible.

8 am - leave the house

8.15 am - drop off Miss J at kinder

8.25 am - drop off Miss B, sign in and do reading with class from 8.30-9.30

Was glad and relieved that Miss B didn't have a meltdown when I had to go. I hardened my heart, handed her to the kinder teacher - and left.

When I returned at 12.15, Miss B saw me on her way to her pigeonhole to get her bag, and waved cheerfully.

In the car, she told me she has three new friends: Miss S, Miss O and Mr M.

"Now I like boys," she declared.

A complete 180-degree reversal of her earlier position that she will only like girls and have friends who are girls.

Lovely.

Transition to kindergarten

2011-02-18T14:33:00.004+11:00

Miss J has had an up-down kinder transition.

Day One: wouldn't let go. Had to stay whole session with her.

Day Two: let me go after 20 min. Managed to get a haircut and run some errands.

Day Three: wouldn't let go. Had to be prised off me by teacher. I fled without turning round to see if she was crying.

Day Four: let me go after 30 min, and even gave me a hug and kiss (on the lips).

Next week, the kids start full sessions. She had better be good, because I have reading duty with Beth's class on Monday mornings!

Development Breakthroughs for the 4 y.o.

2011-02-18T14:17:00.004+11:00

Miss J has been a nightmare at swim class.

The last two lessons, she wouldn't get in the water and clung to me like a koala.

I felt like an idiot. All the other kiddies got into the water and had such fun splashing around and playing with the toys, but mine just refused to untangle herself from Mummy.

At $16 a pop, lessons aren't cheap.

After being publicly embarrassed twice, I decided it was time Daddy took over.

I switched Miss J to an evening class and instructed hubby that henceforth, it was his duty to take Miss J to swimming and to make sure she got in the water.

Last night was the first of these evening classes.

Everything went well. Miss J got into her bathers and was actually looking forward to having dad take her swimming.

Then hubby called to say his car had broken down.

We all got in the car to "rescue Daddy", and reached Paul Sadler midway through the lesson.

As usual, Miss J changed her mind about getting in the water, and clung like a koala.

The elderly gent in the group sitting behind me joked that perhaps we should throw her in anyway.

I saw the swim coach signal to a colleague, and soon, a dazzling blonde customer service officer with a megawatt smile came by to greet us and to suggest that with our consent, she would get a colleague to go in the water with Miss J.

The colleague came, a reserved and unsmiling looking girl with a rasher vest marked TRAINEE.

Miss J was finally prised off me and lifted into the water.

I cannot tell you how good it was to see her finally in the water. She turned sideways to give us a look of betrayal (which I noticed but hubby ignored), but she didn't have a meltdown or anything. After a few minutes, she was actually smiling and enjoying herself as the trainee teacher talked to her and played with her.

The rest of the lesson went well and at the end, Miss J climbed out of the big pool (by herself!) and walked over to us with a smile on her face.

I am looking forward to the next lesson to see how she goes.

Hope Miss J is too!

Kindergarten Transition

2011-02-14T12:54:00.002+11:00

On Miss J's first day at kinder, she was clingy and teary and wouldn't let go of me.

On Day 2, she told me, with the air of someone who has thought long and hard about the matter, that I could stay with her for a bit, then I could go.

So I was politely but firmly dismissed after about 20 min, and went on my way, slightly bemused and bewildered by the seeming effortlessness of the kinder transition.

I managed to fit in a quick visit to the hairdresser and the post office before it was time to pick up Miss J.

Her first words on seeing me: "You took a long time. You said you were only going to be gone for a short time but you took a long time!"

It won't be long before I have to turn my thoughts to my own schedule and responsibilities, which have been blissfully cast aside so I could give my full attention to settling her in at kinder.

Progress in Chinese class

2011-02-14T12:09:00.002+11:00

Miss J was a bit distracted on Sat.

Was it because she was sitting with her friend T?

Was it because, as hubby reported, she had to share her books with a new student, a boy who doodled on her page until the teacher had procured him a set of books?

Was it because Mummy turned up midway to change shifts with Daddy, and she got a bit distracted and decided to act up?

Anyway, when I announced today that we were going to sit down and do her Chinese homework together, she showed such glee and enthusiasm as would make a conscientious mother smile.

We dutifully went through the a o e i u yu (that should be a u with 2 dots over it, but I can't type it out), the four accents for each, and the dialogue she had learned for family members and how to greet someone (你好). Was so surprised that she had memorized parts of the 儿歌：

小白兔，白又白
两只耳朵竖起来
爱吃罗卜爱吃菜
蹦蹦跳跳真可爱

As the proverb goes, 好的开始是成功的一半！

Learning persverance

2011-02-11T10:23:00.002+11:00

Beth had her first swim training session on Tue, in preparation for the HX Primary School Swim Carnival selection trials on 22 Feb.

She had plenty of tales to tell afterward. Of how she nearly drowned, but no one noticed her struggling. How the kids behind (mainly the boys) kept pushing and overtaking. And how she had never swum so hard and so long in her life.

All that didn't stop her going back again on Thu.

This time, despite having to take frequent breaks to get her breath, she kept going and was one of the last ones out (she said they were doing sprints). I even had to go to the poolside to remind her about getting ready for school.

There's a couple of kids like her, who are not very strong at swimming but who are nevertheless giving the selection trials a go.

To Beth and all of them, I say: Well done for having a go!

First Day at Kinder

2011-02-10T10:10:00.003+11:00

Miss J is going through her kinder transition.

In AUS, the educational system is extremely child-friendly.

To cater to kids who may never have been in a school environment, there is a transition programme where kids come in 2, then 3, then 3+ hours each session, with the sessions spaced out (2 a week at first instead of 3) and the class divided into 2 groups. So they get an extremely gentle introduction to school.

From a parent's perspective, it feels like the kids are doing nothing at all.

They wander from station to station, doing play cooking, puzzles, painting, working with playdough, constructing wonderful contraptions with Magnetic Polydron, flipping through books.

No one tells them what to do, but if they run into a spot of difficulty, the teacher or assistant is always on hand to help.

Kinder is also where kids get introduced to routines like where to hang their backpacks, where to place their water bottles and lunch boxes, what to do before sitting down on the mat together (wash your hands!).

There's also an intro to social etiquette - if you want to say something, put up your hand and wait to be called (no calling out); don't be a "space invader" (no sitting too close to another person and touching them or annoying them).

Miss J is familiar with some of these things, having been a daycare kid since 18 m.o. And she does seem able to restrain herself and to act with the required propriety, which is good.

I had thought she would be okay on her own at the first session, since kinder is like daycare.

But she thought otherwise, and wouldn't let go of me.

I ended up staying the whole 2 hours.

Tomorrow she's got a 12.30-3.00 pm session.

Am hopeful she will be more confident by the end of Feb when she's met the rest of the kids and knows the layout of the room and all the routines.

The kinder teacher already has a "job" for me. During the interview, she asked if I know music and play an instrument, and before I knew it, I'd said yes to playing the piano so the kids can sing to nursery rhymes!

Words of affirmation from my 4 y.o.

2011-02-09T10:13:00.002+11:00

"Mum?"

"Hah?"

"I love you. Every time. I love you every morning, afternoon and night."

Kumon: Student and Parent Requirements

2011-02-08T10:33:00.000+11:00

First Chinese Class For The 4 Year Old

2011-02-06T22:18:00.004+11:00

5 Feb was enrolment day at Werribee Chinese School.

This year, I had to queue twice, once for New Enrolments and once for Current Students.

We enrolled our 4 yo for the first time, but not without some misgivings.

A school mum whose daughter has been attending the school along with Beth since kinder days advised me to wait a year before enrolling Miss J. Her opinion is that at 4, she's too young to understand what's going on, especially if she can't read/write yet. She says Oz is different from China and SG, where the teachers are strict in insisting that even very young children sit still and pay attention when a lesson is going on. In Oz, she says, kids get away with distracting behaviour and inattention and the teachers are either not fussed or don't want to offend the parents.

So when I spoke with one of the teachers at the school, my first question was is 4 yo too young an age to start Chinese school?

The reply: "All kids start off not knowing how to read/write."

Duh.

When I ventured further to ask what happens if I enrol for the full year but have to take my child out halfway (say after Term 1) because she can't cope, the reply was "It's too bad. You forfeit the remainder of the terms."

Such is the customer friendliness of the Chinese. An Aussie would have couched it in more polite and sympathetic terms.

So I opted to enrol Miss J for one term.

Then came another revelation: Miss J does not qualify for government funding as she is not yet of school age, which is only reckoned from Prep onwards.

So her yearly fees are higher than Beth's: $415 (textbooks included) vs. $295 (ditto).

In all, Miss J's Term 1 fees came to $145, including textbooks.

The next challenge was settling her into her classroom.

We're thankful Miss J had her good friend T with her.

Our families have much in common. T's parents are also SG migrants. T's older brother and Beth are classmates this year (they were classmates as well in Prep and Year 1), so our families have been on friendly terms for a number of years. Miss J gets on particularly well with T. They are both second-borns, extroverted, quick, confident and unafraid.

With T by her side providing a level of comfort and security, Miss J settled in very quickly and stopped asking Mummy to sit with her.

From our positions at the back of the class, it became clear that neither girl could follow what the teacher was saying: she spoke only in Mandarin, with an occasional lapse into Cantonese for the benefit of the Cantonese-speaking student in the front row.

So it fell to me to help them find the correct book, turn to the correct page, translate what the teacher was saying into English etc.

After an introduction to "a o e" in the four intonations, the teacher decided to test each student's understanding. We thought Miss J would surely not be able to understand what was going on, but when the teacher pointed to the board, Miss J correctly answered "a o e".

The teacher beamed, and so did we.

What a moment!

This afternoon, I got out her Chinese books and Miss J insisted on doing additional writing even though she had already finished her homework in class. So she wrote a few extra lines of "a o e" and “一“.

We also read through the names she had learned in class: 爸爸，妈妈，宝宝，婷婷，嘟嘟.

Jie Jie was fascinated enough to lean over to find out what her sister's textbooks contained and to see how much of it was familiar.

Perhaps with both of them feeding off and inspiring each other, they will help each other excel.

And Jie Jie won't feel like she's the only one who's being forced to study Chinese.

Violin/Piano Teacher in Hoppers Crossing

2011-02-02T12:00:00.002+11:00

The mums' network does it again.

Spoke to IV's mum this morning. Her daughter, who is classmates with Beth this year, plays both piano and violin. She started at the age of...4!

The mum will be passing me the contact for the teachers, a pair of sisters who teach violin and piano, live on Barber Drive, are very good at engaging child learners, offer yearly concert performances at Westbourne Grammar for their students, and hail from HK.

Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.

No need to drive all the way to Footscray and back for lessons.

How beautifully God provides!

Is a 4 yo child ready for music lessons?

2011-02-01T11:36:00.003+11:00

Having chatted with different service providers, it seems there are two philosophies on the musical readiness of a 4 yo child:

4 years is too young to take up formal instrumental lessons. It is recommended that preschoolers undergo a general music introductory course. See Yamaha's Music Wonderland targetted at the 3.5 - 4.5 age group, Mini Maestros which has branches in many suburbs including Hoppers Crossing/Werribee, and Point Cook's Universal Music School, which offers weekly 20-min parent-child sessions for 4-5 yos.

According to one music school -

I recommend for students of this age to attend Mini Maestros where they are immersed in music in groups. ...

Unless the child has parents who are musicians and are able to guide their child at home regularly in a nurturing way, then I find that this age is too young to take on for private music lessons where we cater in general for older students.

Schools like Suzuki believe in developing children's musical (and math and artistic...) abilities from a very young age. Have you seen YouTube videos of very young violinists, like Akim Camara with Andre Rieu or this 4 yo girl playing Vivaldi? Back when we were in PLCMC, the Chinese congregation string ensemble regularly performed on major church occasions. The youngest violinists were only 3 yo, but they carried themselves with such poise and professionalism, and played beautifully too.

My mission is to find schools and/or teachers that share this philosophy.

The only Suzuki-accredited teacher on the register services Sunshine, Footscray, Yarraville.

But I also found a music school that gave me the following response when I asked what they thought of a 4 yo wanting to learn violin -

Our violin teacher, Paul, does take students starting from 4 years of age. He believes in teaching on the violin at this age rather than starting on another instrument. However the method he uses incorporates imagination games and he accompanies on the piano with clapping games etc...

He also teaches piano so if for any reason the violin wasn't suitable for your child, we could swap over for a term or year, as assessed to be appropriate.

Hubby is not impressed by the teacher's credentials: "familiar with both the Suzuki method and AMEB grades" doesn't have quite the same cache as being Suzuki accredited, and "has achieved 8th grade on piano and violin" - "But you have a diploma! You can teach too!"

Ahem.

Which brings us to a whole different issue: does being qualified on paper make you a good teacher?

Of course not.

Learning/Teaching piano to the 4 yo

2011-01-27T14:11:00.005+11:00

Am v excited to see Miss J show an avid interest in learning piano.

She has been working out the notes with the help of this handy aide by Duanne Shinn.

She's been 'working through' Beth's old Yamaha books - Rollercoaster, Happy Elephant, Whales' Sneezes and all that - including the accompanying DVDs. Her enthusiasm is as real and palpable as her big sister's bo-chap "I am doing this because you forced me to" attitude towards music.

I am learning to accept that #1 is primarily motivated by Art and Books and #2 is the one who has the greater probability of excelling in Music.

We have a secondhand violin which was given by my BIL and Miss J says she wants to learn violin (too).

Am now looking out for a good (Suzuki accredited?) violin teacher in the western suburbs.

My Durian Girl

2011-01-24T14:01:00.002+11:00

I have found the perfect metaphor for my firstborn.

She is a Durian.

Tough and prickly on the outside (tick).

But if you persist long enough, you will be rewarded with the funny, sweet, unique side that she keeps well concealed under her brusque manners.

And as with durians, not all will agree that prying apart that tough exterior is worth the effort.

She - like the King of Fruits - is an acquired taste. :-)

Making memories for me and my girls

2011-01-07T14:40:00.008+11:00

Happiness is made up of the really simple things.

Doing fun (and not so fun) things together.

Here are some fave memories from 2010 of me and my growing-too-fast girls.

Holiday Activities 2010

2010-12-30T10:01:00.003+11:00

The girls have been surprisingly undemanding since the hols began.

Other than a 2-day trip to LaTrobe City on 27-28 Dec, we've been home-based.

They sleep late and wake up late (after 10!).

Watch TV and videos.

Read.

Beth has her daily Kumon workbook and I try to remind her to practise on the keyboard. But sometimes I get a bit lazy and (deliberately) forgetful myself and think: it's the hols, let her relax!

Most un-Singaporean I know.

If I were a bit more energetic and brave, I'd be driving them everywhere visiting museums and playgrounds and all the fascinating places suggested in Melbourne's Child, that free parenting magazine that is such a boon when you run out of ideas.

But I prefer to wait for hubby to be available. :)

Tentative activities for the rest of summer:

Paul Sadler intensive holiday care program
Visit to Geelong Wool Museum/Ford Discovery Centre
Library
Camping in Wilsons Prom

Multi aging and composite classes

2010-12-07T10:06:00.002+11:00

Heathdale is offering a 2/3 composite class next year.

The official reason is that it wants to accommodate all the students on its waiting list. However, there aren't enough to form an extra Grade 3 class.

Something like that.

We heard on the grapevine that only new students would be in the composite class.

But yesterday, we received a letter informing us that Beth has been nominated to be part of the composite class.

Apparently, those who are independent learners, can think laterally and have a good work ethic will benefit most from a composite class.

If that's the criteria for nominating Beth, then I suppose it's a good thing.

In any case, we had already been thinking of transferring to Good News Lutheran, which also practises multi aging in the classroom. Except theirs is a permanent arrangement: Prep, 1/2, 3/4, 5/6.

Have read up a bit on multi aging on the Net and it's mostly a benefit to the child.

However, gifted or talented students may find themselves held back if the teacher does not adequately cater to their needs.

And an older child (eg a Grade 3 in a 2/3 class) may feel left out of peer development.

Holding back on the Heathdale vs Good News decision

2010-11-28T18:41:00.003+11:00

After what happened on Thu night, hubby and I are leaning towards the idea that it might be better to let Beth continue at Heathdale. She seems to be doing so well, has developed a little circle of good friends, and Heathdale does seem to be catering to her academic bent. It would be a bit of a shame to tear her away.

Pity about the fees. It's the biggest push factor.

Transferring school

2010-11-22T13:10:00.004+11:00

It's done.

Have put in Jordanne's enrolment application for Good News Lutheran for 2012.

Was going to put in Beth's as well, but we had a couple of questions/concerns about LOTE Chinese, so I'm holding on to her application till I get those issues sorted.

Beth and I had a look at some past exam papers for Chinese as a second language, and surprisingly, she thought she might get to the level where she's good enough to understand the exam requirements and even do well in the exam.

She made an innovative case for staying on in Heathdale: at Year 5, she would be able to see what the students get to learn in Chinese class. Plus, she might even excel because of the headstart she's had through community language school classes. :-)

One of the questions CA and I had was if you need to be in a school that offers LOTE Chinese in order to take it up as an elective for VCE. From the comments of various parents as well as our own observations and research, it seems the answer is NO.

Judging from the kind of LOTE material Heathdale students use for Year 5 onwards, as well as the school policy of 6 months of French lessons followed by 6 months of Chinese, the intent seems to be to expose the student to different cultures rather than to prepare them to eventually sit the VCE. That eliminates the one big reason for remaining at Heathdale.

If Beth is at all serious about taking VCE Chinese, she will most probably have to switch to an intensive Chinese language coaching school (New Century, Chinese Culture School or Xin Jin Shan) that specialises in preparing students to be proficient enough to sit the VCE.

Over the hump

2010-11-20T12:09:00.003+11:00

We've achieved a major breakthrough.

After the school tour yesterday, a serious discussion before bedtime and again this morning, Beth has not only agreed to transfer to Good News Lutheran (if accepted), she even suggested transferring in Term 3 2011 instead of Term 2, so she would be able to complete the Naplan test under the auspices of Heathdale.

She even joked about having two different uniforms within one year.

Thank you God. Only You could have worked such a miracle of acceptance and openness in Beth's heart.

School tour - Good News Lutheran

2010-11-16T12:44:00.002+11:00

It's finally happening.

Have called Good News Lutheran and arranged to do a tour this Friday 4 pm, which will give us plenty of time for a post-exam celebration lunch on our way back from Carnegie.

Hubby is on leave for the day, so we'll all get to see the school facilities together and hopefully I get to have a chat with the principal too.

How to get a distracted, disinterested child to practise for a piano exam

2010-11-15T14:03:00.003+11:00

Have discovered that the best strategy for getting Beth to practise is to catch her in a good mood, keep her that way with lots of positive strokes and humour (no matter how quirky or silly), and have short intensive bursts (such as during commercials for X Factor) rather than long sessions (anything more than 15 min straight) at the keyboard.

It's taken a long time to refine the strategy down to these terms.

The exam's in four days, but as they say, better late than never.

I'm gonna restrain myself from any negativity between now and Friday and just encourage her to offer her best.

She went for her second Solo Festival at Yamaha yesterday. I was so relieved that her performance went pretty well, considering how she's been temperamentally. She definitely redeemed herself after the disastrous rendition of Menuett by Mozart three months ago.

A Peaceful, Conflict-Free Day

2010-11-09T10:33:00.004+11:00

Had a good day with Beth yesterday.

The funny thing is, things didn't exactly go as intended. She had committed to finishing her school homework, two practice sessions on the keyboard of 30 min each, bath and Chinese homework.

She managed her school homework fairly easily, except for parts of the math homework. I thought it was the perfect time to introduce her to algebra and the concept of X. Was so pleased that she showed such enthusiasm for learning something new and managed to grasp the concept right away.

Getting her to practise the keyboard was much harder.

She dawdled till after dinner before getting to it, but when she did, she managed to do so with a good attitude and to keep her temper in check, which made it easier for me too. After all, it takes two to have conflict!

She pleaded exhaustion midway through her scales so I wisely (with God-given wisdom and self-restraint) decided to let her defer the practice of the remaining scales to today.

Hopefully, she keeps up her good attitude and we'll be right on exam day (now 10 days away).

16 days to go

2010-11-03T14:14:00.003+11:00

Relieved that Beth finally acquiesced to her teacher's suggestion that she have an extra piano lesson on Cup Day.

I was glad she redeemed herself (partly) in the way she played her pieces. Her scales still need a lot of work and I know she hates the discipline of sitting down at the piano and working through those difficult keys.

But if she wants an A+ like she says she does, she has to realize that she can only achieve it through regular consistent effort.

Mum the music coach

2010-10-31T19:48:00.005+11:00

I am donning my coach hat as Beth's AMEB exam looms.

This requires a different approach every day, because her moods are as predictable as Melbourne's weather.

Yesterday was horrible.

She played so badly during her weekly lesson with her teacher.

And in the afternoon, she had a meltdown when I insisted she practise. She banged violently all over the keyboard like she was trying to destroy it. My mum would have had a fit if that had been my response to being told to practise! (Then again, I was such a compliant kid, I would never have dared.)

Today, she dawdled and delayed. She wouldn't put down the book she was reading. Then she took extra long in the bath. Practice time which was meant to begin at 5.30 started at 7.30.

But when she finally got round to it, she actually put in a decent performance with her pieces. Which just goes to prove she's got it but just needs to focus and be more disciplined and consistent.

I got Beth to commit to an hour of practice every day from now till 19 Nov.

She could decide how she wanted to space out her practice session: 4x15 min, 3x20min, 2x30 min.

She chose 3x20min and wrote out the practice times on her chalkboard.

Tomorrow, we begin.

Club Penguin

2010-10-26T19:45:00.003+11:00

Beth has discovered the delights of Club Penguin, a virtual community for kids that claims to be kid-safe.

So a game on CP has now joined the growing list of rewards for good behaviour and incentives to meet set goals.

At pickup time today, I learned two new things about my child's social life -

She asked for her BF Keely's email address and promised to send her info on how to access Club Penguin, which she duly did this evening (it was detailed enough to nearly be an instruction manual; I confess I was quite impressed by the depth of her knowledge and memory retention)
She promised to "meet" her classmate Isabella on CP at 7 pm Melbourne time (!!).

I have decided to be a "good" parent and sign up for a parent account on CP so I can set the amount of time Beth spends there.

Trouble is, I'm required to supply the email address used to create her penguin.

I don't know it.

And neither does she. :p

Kumon?

2010-10-13T09:14:00.002+11:00

Am checking out Kumon to help Beth with her math.

She is not struggling. Yet. But I agree with my fellow mum Su****. Better to train her to learn at a higher level so it will be easy when she gets to high school.

This is just one of the testimonials on the Kumon website that are making me lean towards a yes to booking her in for 2011.

The only trouble: it's one more after-school activity on top of the music, Chinese and swimming.

Getting ready for kindergarten 2011

2010-10-12T13:07:00.004+11:00

J received her kinder confirmation yesterday.

She has kinder orientation next Tue 11-12.30 at Woodville Park, where they will get to experience various kinder activities and meet their teachers. As she's been going to daycare since 18 mths, I don't expect she'll notice much difference.

Parents are also required to attend the AGM on 17 Nov, but we will only receive the info pack if we pay the first instalment of the fees before the AGM. Once we receive the invoice and make payment, we are to show the receipt to the kinder staff at the AGM.

Fees for 10 hour groups: $752 pa or $188 per term (it was $666 during Beth's time, and she was on the 12 hour program!)

Will be handing in the booking form to Wyndarra today and letting them know J won't be attending daycare wef Dec.

It's exciting to be able to pay some extra money into the mortgage and watch the outstanding balance shrink.

First AMEB exam approaches

2010-10-05T14:12:00.003+11:00

I am getting very worried.

The way Beth is going - playing when she suka, refusing to correct mistakes - she will not be ready for her exams at the end of the year.

It's already Oct and she still has not mastered Poseidon's Throne or her scales. And her sightreading is hideous: she can scarcely read!

I tried showing her my old RSM exam results and what examiners look out for. She was less than interested. None of it seems to be making a dent in her motivation and self-discipline.

I don't know what I should do: let her continue on her certain path to a C? At Grade One??

Filipino hospitality at its best

2010-10-05T13:55:00.008+11:00

Last Sat was a drama where all ended well.

We were invited to dinner at Amencio & Rose's new place in Moorookyle but when we got there, no one was home and A was not contactable on mobile and landline. It was all very strange, and we wondered if we'd got the date wrong.

Eventually, A was able to reach us and the gathering took place as planned.

We especially give thanks that Beth and J got on so well with Kate and Clark.

Kate and Beth were classmates at Sr Rita Douglas Kinder 3 years ago, but we lost touch when the girls went to different schools. Amencio helped us when we moved into our current house, so hubby tried to return the favour when it was their turn - but was preempted as they decided to move during the week.

Beth is a creature pretty much driven by her moods. She gets overwhelmed by the new - new situations, new people - and has even hidden in her room when we have visitors. So it was wonderful to see how quickly she was able to relax and be part of what was going on at Amencio's: watching Monsters and Aliens in 3D, playing Wii tennis and hide and seek...

The four kids got on so well that at the end of the night, J didn't want to go home. She even let Rose carry her, and said she wanted to sleep over!

As for the adults, we had a fantastic time enjoying slow food, carrying on where we had left off in our friendship, and trying out Amencio's new MagicSing karaoke system - competing to see which team (guys vs girls) scored higher. As Rose jested, it's not fair that the guys get 100 most of the time...just because they have louder voices!

Many thanks to Amencio and Rose for their hospitality and friendship, and Kate and Clark for making our children feel like their new best friends.

2010-09-30T16:45:00.007+10:00

Beth has taken an interest in flower arrangement.

I love how easy it is to pop outside and snip off cuttings of different coloured blooms - white, yellow, orange, fuschia, pink, purple - as the mood pleases.

A vase of fresh flowers really gives the dining table and bathroom that extra lift.

Bless the former owners who put so much effort into creating a beautiful garden for us to enjoy, and God, who made Spring and flowers.

Self-Initiative

2010-09-19T17:54:00.002+10:00

Beth is playing through Repertoire Book 1 by herself.

Not because I asked.

Because she felt like it.

She's working out the notes herself, trying to jog her memory and making a heap of mistakes on the way.

But she's doing it herself. That's the point!

Term 3 School Holidays

2010-09-19T15:46:00.003+10:00

What a leisurely Sun afternoon.

No inward groans at the thought of rising early, getting the kids to school or packing lunches.

Love the school holidays.

Do all parents go through the same trials?

2010-09-15T11:22:00.004+10:00

Chatted with my favourite school mum yesterday. Her daughter is Beth's best friend.

A quick discussion about play dates (which we've been trying forever to set up) led to an opportunity for me to find out if I'm the only one with a fractious 8 yo.

Turns out I'm not alone.

My friend, whose daughter is confident, well-rounded, bright and sporty and well-liked by everyone, confided that just the other day, her daughter was screaming and carrying on in the car on the way to school.

She was unhappy at having been told off by her mum, and yelled out something like, "If you keep doing this, I'm never talking to you when I grow up!"

At which point my friend said enough's enough, and told her to exit the car and make her own way to school.

I was so relieved to hear this story and so glad my friend shared it.

I have so many days where I'm gnawed with guilt, thinking: I'm not a good-enough mum. Why do I lose my temper with my kids? Where have I gone wrong? What am I missing? Why are my children so badly behaved sometimes?

But maybe this is just life.

My kids are of me but not me. They can - and do - choose whether to do good or do evil.

My job is not to micromanage but to teach them to take responsibility for their own choices and actions, to understand that with every choice comes a consequence.

Also, there will be good days and bad days in every family.

When the bad days come, I must remember to be RESILIENT and STAY SANE through it all, without compromising my morals or saying or doing something I might later regret.

When the good days come, I must remember to GIVE THANKS and BE GRATEFUL. It could be worse.

Because this - good or bad day - too shall pass.

Morning Dramas

2010-09-15T11:14:00.004+10:00

Beth has been pretty good the past few days, except for her usual can't-get-up-for-school nonsense.

She managed to practise the keyboard last night without my help. I was hovering in the bedroom, unsure of whether I should go out and see if she was practising correctly, yet half afraid to hear a shout for help from the lounge.

As someone said, when she is good, she is very very good. When she is bad, she is HORRID.

This morning, it was the little one's turn to act up.

"I want two ponytails!" ("We have no time for this!")

"I want to wear a dress to school!" ("No one wears a dress to daycare. You'll get it all dirty when you play outside. You're supposed to wear play clothes.")

No amount of reasoning works when you have an irate preschooler on your hands. You just have to deafen yourself to the screaming and the tears and find a way through the middle.

"Stop crying!" I yelled.

"I can't stop crying," she sobbed.

In the end, we compromised. She got her two ponytails and she gets to wear her dress tomorrow when she's home with Mummy. And we all got to school on time.

Oh the greys they give me...

A Nice Change

2010-09-13T16:55:00.003+10:00

Beth is being very cooperative and teachable this afternoon.

She even managed to learn a new music piece by herself, working out the notes instead of having her usual meltdown.

I loved hearing her attempting the pedals for Swing and Poseidon's Throne.

What might she accomplish if she were this consistent every day!

Sleep Problems

2010-09-10T11:39:00.003+10:00

Every family has its own issues.

Ours is that our girls refuse to sleep in their own room. The beautiful lavender bunk bed has become an expensive toy.

Every night, the four of us have to find new ways to configure ourselves so we can comfortably fit into our QS bed.

The 8 yo says she will if her sister will sleep with her.

The 3 yo says she needs to be with her family i.e. mummy and daddy.

Last night, hubby gave up and opted to be first under the covers.

When I moved to snuggle up to him, J objected.

"I want you to sleep HERE!" she screamed, pointing at the far corner of the bed. She wanted to be the one in the middle.

Big Sister came to the rescue.

"Mei mei, listen to me. You are not making sense. Daddy and Mummy are husband and wife and husbands and wives sleep together."

There was some other stuff she said which I've forgotten.

I was just so tickled by the irony of her giving her sis a solemn lecture while still insisting on sleeping with us.

To be fair, she did make an attempt to move to the mattress on the floor - "Ah! How nice! So much room!" - but it didn't last long and soon it was four-in-the-bed again.

The Terrible 8's

2010-09-07T12:19:00.002+10:00

Maggie Alderson's article You Can't Take It As Read in last weekend's GW was HILARIOUS.

Our children are of us - but they are not us. They are entirely separate beings. My daughter is 8 years old now and I'm still trying to get a handle on this.

She might have been referencing Khalil Gibran:

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

http://www.katsandogz.com/onchildren.html

After all the travails with Beth over recent months, I finally feel vindicated.

It's not my fault - it's cos she's 8!

The Reading Box Drama

2010-09-07T12:09:00.005+10:00

May be on my way to first confrontation with Beth's teacher.

Apparently, for reading comprehension, the class rule is that all students have to work their way through all 10 books in the Sunset Reading Box before moving on to the next level, the Red Box.

Beth came home in tears yesterday because a classmate was allowed to skip to Red after achieving 3 18's (full marks), whereas she herself had notched up 4 18's but was required to work through all 10 books.

My tendency is to avoid conflict wherever possible. I can't do the 做坏人 routine.

I offered various possible explanations: the teacher felt the classmate had an advanced level of comprehension and it would be a waste of time to hold her back? The teacher felt Beth needed to work more at her comprehension?

Of course, I realized none of these explanations were particularly comforting to my competitive child. She likes being top of the heap and doesn't take kindly to suggestions that at Grade 2, it's only natural that her classmates will catch up to her and even surpass her in their academic achievement.

So I said if her teacher's explanation for her actions matters so much to her, I'll email her teacher to clarify.

In all fairness, Beth is rarely upset by what happens at school so this is new to me.

I mentioned it to hubby last night and right away, he said something forceful and aggressive which does not bear repeating; never knew he could be so protective of our kids. He agreed with Beth's perception of the unfairness of her treatment, so I've just sent off an email - couched as courteously and non-accusingly as possible - and we'll see what her teacher says.

Sg primary schools to be more PE and arts focussed

2010-09-06T13:02:00.002+10:00

Pay more attention to PE, art and music in primary schools: PM Lee

AsiaOne | Sun Aug 29 2010

PM Lee spoke about giving a "tailored, holistic education" during the National Day Rally 2010.

PRIME Minister Lee Hsien Loong addressed education as one of the important priorities for all Singaporeans during his National Day Rally Speech this year.

Held at the University Cultural Centre at the National University of Singapore, PM Lee spoke about giving a "tailored, holistic education" and emphasised that more attention should be given to physical education (PE), art and music in primary schools, in order to "nurture the whole child".

More specialist teachers should be trained and recruited to improve teacher-student ratios for such subjects.

However, he also said that traditional strengths should be maintained in Maths and Science, and soft skills such as oral expression should be strengthened.

He also spoke about how schools in Singapore are equipped with modern facilities, each developed with its own specialties, such as arts, band, sports, robotics or uniformed groups.

PM Lee highlighted a few of the interesting programmes in schools, such as a wall mural in Haig Girls' in which sketches are conceptualised by students, Nusantara Orchestra from Siglap Secondary School and hip-hop dance integrated with physical education at Riverside Secondary.

In his speech, PM Lee also raised the issue of the Primary Six Leaving Examination (PSLE) as a major hurdle, and that the PSLE is not "meant to be a do-or-die test that determines the whole future of a child".

He advised that there will be many good choices in secondary school and that students should not be dismayed.

The Power of Singapore Math

2010-09-06T12:59:00.001+10:00

Rachel Chan | my paper | Fri Sep 3 2010

School which used Singapore Maths went on to boost maths grades by about 30 per cent over five years.

AMAZED by how well maths coach Bill Jackson's eighth grade class responded to their colourful maths textbooks, with their pictures of tropical fruit and use of British English, the principal decided the whole school should use them.

Students at the elementary school in New Jersey, one of the first in the United States to use Singapore Mathematics, went on to boost their maths grades by about 30 per cent over five years, said Mr Jackson, 51, who now trains maths teachers in New York. He is in Singapore for a Singapore maths forum.

"The students were really engaged because they liked the concrete-pictorial-abstract approach, and especially the model method," he added, referring to the way Singapore's maths textbooks depicted maths concepts and taught students how to solve problem sums.

Mr Jackson started adapting the Singapore curriculum for his class in 1999, having been impressed after a friend sent him some sample pages from a Singaporean maths teachers' guide. That year was one of four in which Singapore's Primary 4 and Secondary 2 students (equivalent to fourth- and eighth-grade students in the US) topped international rankings for their achievements in Maths and Science.

Piqued by anecdotes like Mr Jackson's, the US-based Gabriella & Paul Rosenbaum Foundation conducted a study from 2003 to 2008 to establish just how well Singapore maths textbooks do in the US.

It found, for instance, that students taking Singapore maths classes in the North Middlesex Regional School District, the first district-wide implementation of the curriculum in the US, scored significantly higher than students from other districts on Massachusetts state exams.

It also found the curriculum was more effective the earlier students started using it.

Today, schools in about 110 districts in the US use Singapore Maths curriculum materials published by Marshall Cavendish. The latest is an elementary grade textbook called Math In Focus, which is the US edition of Singapore's My Pals Are Here! (Maths) series.

Schools in over 35 countries are also using Singapore maths textbooks.

"With the US mathematics textbooks, teachers try to figure out how to cover several pages in one lesson. By contrast, with the Singapore mathematics textbooks, teachers need to deepen their (students') understanding of mathematics, so they can spend several days on less than one page in order to help students understand the concepts deeply," said Dr Patsy Wang-Iverson, vice-president for special projects of the Gabriella & Paul Rosenbaum Foundation, who will today present key findings of the study at an inaugural global Singapore maths forum, held by Marshall Cavendish.

Ms Lee Fei Chen, deputy head of publishing at Marshall Cavendish Publishing Group, said the earliest importers of Singapore maths textbooks in the US were homeschoolers who wanted alternative programmes to the core US syllabus.

Subsequently, "a lot of (attention to Singapore's maths syllabus) was (paid ) by one or two committed teachers, convinced that this was a good programme, and they wanted to try it out in their schools", said Ms Lee.

100 marks plus five

2010-08-31T11:20:00.005+10:00

Beth seems to have come off her i-hate-chinese mountain.

This past week she has been calmer and more amenable to doing her homework.

On Sat when I picked her up from Chinese class, she sheepishly told me she got 80% for her 听写.

I asked what her best pal Jennifer got.

"100 marks, plus 5 extra for knowing how to write 黑."

I bit back on my urge to lecture, and simply asked how she felt about it, and what she planned to do about it.

The upshot was she decided there was nothing for it but to study (Chinese) every day, even when she's not in the mood.

And we agreed it would be a good idea if I gave her a mini-tingxie every day of the week. Say 5 phrases at a time.

And she would try to get at least 90% the next time.

Growing Older, Growing Closer

2010-08-31T10:56:00.006+10:00

It's so exciting to watch the girls grow closer and find common play activities.

It used to be all fights, with Beth growling at mei mei for getting in her way or getting into her things, and J complaining that Beth wouldn't let her into their room.

When J tried to hug Beth, the latter would shy away. *Ouch* Thankfully J is not the thin-skinned type.

And Beth would never never of her own want to hug her little sister or show her any sisterly affection.

During a particularly challenging time, Beth was heard to voice her regret that she had prayed to Jesus for a baby sister.

Fast forward...

They're now 8 and 3.5 and the little one has grown enormously in her ability to take instruction, initiate play projects and be a good assistant to her big sister.

Sometimes they play cubbyhouse with cushions and blankets.

Or dressing up dolls (never thought I'd see the day Beth would take to dolls).

Lately it's making handbags from recycled paper. Plus tiny lip balm, lipsticks and all the bits that go into handbags.

The other day, Beth made J stick out her arm so she could measure her up and make her a handbag with a sling long enough to go round her shoulder. J walked around the lounge proudly, showing off her new handbag.

Just adorable. :-)

Magic Interruptions

2010-08-26T09:15:00.003+10:00

J was watching Yo Gabba Gabba when suddenly, I heard the opening notes of a beloved song from my childhood. I dropped what I was doing and got in front of the TV to cuddle J and sing along.

It was a video clip of a Mr. Williams singing The Rainbow Connection with a band made up of enormous Jim Henson puppets and children on instruments.

I so LOVE that song, esp the version by Kermit the Frog on Sesame Street. It was almost an anthem for me in my teens.

The lyrics are so magical, they pull you into another world, a world of what might be and all you can be, and all that is good and pure and beautiful and noble.

I've heard it too many times to ignore it
It's something that I've gotta be
Someday I'll find it, the Rainbow Connection,
The lovers, the dreamers and me
la la la la la la la
la la la la la la la la...

Afternote
According to Wikipedia, Rainbow Connection was written by Paul Hamilton Williams, Jr. and Kenneth Ascher.

Parent in Meltdown

2010-08-23T18:51:00.004+10:00

Another meltdown this afternoon from The One Who Hates Chinese. Again, triggered by a reminder to do her homework.

Now she hates jujitsu too.

She wants a day when she has no extracurricular activities at all. I guess there was always going to be this point, when she found 1.5 hours of music and 3 hours of Chinese too much for a Sat.

I am now contemplating letting her off Term 4 Chinese. We could call it a break - and hopefully next Feb she will have outgrown this phase and feel better about things.

My Perfect Parent half feels like this is the beginning of the end. If she's going to give up on Chinese at 8, what are the chances she will want to get back to it when she's a little older? And if she's allowed to give up so easily, how will this affect her attitude to studies and life in general?

My Compassionate Parent half feels this isn't a battle worth fighting. It's rupturing family harmony and it's just plain too hard to keep up every week. Maybe if I don't fight her on this, she will grow out of this phase naturally and want to come back to it when she is a bit more mature.

My 70 yo friend tells me my battles with Beth are because she is 8. That is apparently the age her son was when he drove her barmy with his tantrums, rebellion and smart-mouthing. But we're talking 8, not 13, I protested. If at 8 she has started to give me the grays, what's going to happen when she becomes a full-fledged teen?

Said friend had some practical tips. Make time to do fun things with Beth. Take her shopping for girly things. Go for a coffee together after Chinese classes. That will give her something to look forward to.

All wonderful ideas, which I wouldn't have thought up myself. All I know, and all I've been raised to do, is the top-down approach: scold, nag, threaten and insist. Now I have to learn to act against my natural instincts and be a completely different sort of mother.

The kind I wish I'd had.

Parental Failure

2010-08-20T17:40:00.004+10:00

I feel so disappointed and helpless when Beth gets into one of her intractable moods and won't do as she is supposed to.

We just got into another fight this evening and I had to send her to the corner, which was all I could think to do. I was SO ANGRY. First she wouldn't do her Chinese homework. Then she practised Rock n Roll once, but refused to work on the tricky introduction, which she missed learning in class because she was ill last weekend.

Last week she threw a tanty in the changing room of the local pool. Right in front of a friend and her 6 yo daughter. The friend looked bemusedly at Beth carrying on about her pants getting wet, while I muttered threats under my breath, then gave up and sat and rolled my eyes as Beth displayed her worst self. What else could I do - scream at her in front of the dozens of other parents and children?

I said I was not re-enrolling her for Term 3.

The older she gets, the harder it is to make her see the practical consequences of her poor learning attitude. If she continues like this, I don't know what will become of her. She is already achieving below potential because she only wants to do what she wants to do (i.e. READ). She lacks that steady consistency and motivation, that inner drive to excel that Emily and Joshua J have displayed in music and academics. When I hear how well they are doing, I feel embarrassed that Beth is so lackadaisical. She has the smarts but she won't work for it.

This is NOT how a Singaporean child should be!

I wish some expert could advise me how to handle this child. Are personalities carved in stone? Will she always be this way? What will I do when she becomes a teen? What is wrong with her? Why does she act this way? She's setting such a bad example for J, and I don't wish to see J lose her innocence and starting acting up like her big sister. One brat is bad enough!

Postscript:
Despite being told that she will not get to go to Keely's for a play date, and that she will have to account to her dad when he comes home, Beth has taken the easy way out - and gone to sleep on the couch!
What will I do with this child???

How an LTCL student plays

2010-08-11T11:48:00.003+10:00

Learning Parental Wisdom From A Non-Parent

2010-08-11T11:05:00.005+10:00

Our house guest shared some honest insights about our girls after observing and interacting with them through the week.

About B, she says that we give in to her too much.

For instance, if B can't find her socks/school pants/jujitsu uniform, her first reaction is to ask Mummy for help. And Mummy (Daddy too) generally stops doing whatever she was doing to help find the missing whatever.

Two nights ago, A imparted a valuable lesson to B.

On my way out to pick up J from daycare, I told B to get dressed for jujitsu class. Instead, she went to Aunty Annie whining that she couldn't find her outfit.

A just looked at her and said, "So how?"

And didn't offer to help.

B was nonplussed, and after a few seconds, figured out what she was meant to do.

After searching a few different places, B was still unable to find said outfit. By now, she was getting panicky because A asked why she hadn't dressed like Mummy had asked her to.

B said she'd searched everywhere: the clotheshorse, the ironing basket, her closet...

Only then did A relent and offer to accompany her on her search.

Moral of the Story?

Hubby and I need to let go of our need to be "good" parents and let B experience what it's like to solve her own problems.
Otherwise she'll never learn. She'll be this "lembek" damsel in distress, always depending on someone else to fix things when she gets into difficult situations.

The Benefits of Having House Guests

2010-08-10T14:17:00.005+10:00

The girls are very blessed to have Aunty Annie stay with us this week.

Annie is our friend from PLCMC back home and a regular house guest. Whenever she visits Melbourne, she stays at our place.

She is the best kind of house guest: blends in effortlessly, is completely herself, always knows the right thing to say to each person, knows when to be chatty and when you want to be alone, keeps herself occupied but always has time to play with the girls or to chat about things that are of interest to everyone.

As a sister in Christ, she shares insights picked up from her reading and life experience, challenges us to trust and obey, and warns of pitfalls (doing her Ezekiel "Watchman" duties).

I love how she draws the best out of the girls. Yesterday, she resolved a sibling quarrel over toys by asking Mei Mei what was in her heart and did she know that God could look into her heart and see what she was thinking?

According to Annie, Mei Mei evidently took the lesson to heart, because she looked very abashed and uncomfortable, and stopped bugging her sister to let her have the coveted toy.

Thanks to Annie, I have a willing helper and babysitter and my day goes more smoothly. The girls actually look forward to seeing Aunty Annie when they come home from school. They love hanging out with her because she lets them play with Talking Tom and brain training games on her iPhone. J brought home a drawing she'd done at daycare, and said it was for "my Aunty Annie". And Beth didn't need to be prompted to say hello when we picked her up after school. She actually SMILED when she said "Hello Aunty Annie". (Beth doesn't do smiles, except when she's with her friends.)

Now THAT is what you call Personal Power.