You Are Special!

Cos you are special, special
Everybody's special
Everyone in his or her own way
Cos you are special, special
Everybody's special
Everyone in his or her own way

The lyrics of this song from Barney's Families Are Special DVD may seem slightly old-fashioned, but I think they're beautiful and meaningful.

I used to think the I Love You, You Love Me theme song really cheesy, but now I've grown to love it. There's something innocent and pure about it, that just seems to bring out the best in mother-child bonding. It's something Beth and I love and which I'm teaching J now.

These are the sorts of messages we need to teach every toddler and preschooler, because the world into which they're entering and socializing has become a dangerous, hate-filled, violent place.

We need to shape their young minds with positive messages, build kindness, self-love and acceptance of others into their characters, and empower them to go out and spread these messages in the playground and school.

Beth's Culinary Training

Beth loves helping out in the kitchen.

"Mummy/Daddy, can I help?" is a lovely thing to hear from a 5 y.o.

We try to stifle our fear (very hard!) that she might get scalded by steam/hot oil, so that she gets to try something new and learn to manage domestically. Always supervised, of course.

I don't want to be a servant!

This morning, Beth threw a tantrum in the midst of being asked to put something back where it belonged.

"I don't want to be a servant!!" she hissed.

"Did you know that Jesus says we can only be great by becoming servants?" I asked.

And launched into the story of Jesus washing His disciples' feet.

Except I took ages to locate the verses in the Bible. Finally found it in John 13.

While I looked up my Bible, Beth looked up her children's illustrated version. She found the story in the account of the disciples and Jesus celebrating Passover before Jesus was crucified.

We talked about what it might mean to be a servant e.g. letting others go ahead of us in the playground or at dinner, Daddy helping out with washing up in the church kitchen, Daddy vacuuming the social hall after coffee fellowship...

Thank you Lord for the opportunity to teach my child your Word. May its truth remain in her heart and bear much fruit in her daily living.

A Day of Achievement

Yesterday was a good day.

I spent the hours between 9 am and 3 pm taking care of the girls and doing chores.

Most importantly, I was able to do these things in a spirit of tranquility, sans the usual frazzle and edginess which comes from a resentment of being interrupted in my own "more productive" and more pleasant tasks (i.e. writing, reading, research).

I didn't even consciously try to do these things. I just did them one after another as need required.

When it was time to feed J, I fed her.
When it was time to change J, I changed her.
When J woke from a nap, I took her out to the living area and let her sit in her high chair while I mopped and vacuumed.
When it was 12 pm, I prepared lunch.
The girls ate their lunch. Beth asked for seconds. (Amazing.)
After lunch, I got the girls to have their baths.
Beth helped fold the laundry and helped me bathe J.
At tea time, I mixed milk and instant choc chip muffin mix and popped the muffin tray in the oven. (Thank you Betty Crocker!)
At 4 pm, I allowed Beth to turn on the TV and watch ABC Kids.
Only then did I turn on my PC and start writing.
I gave J her dinner when she showed signs of restlessness. She ate up every bit of her carrot-pumpkin-onion-potato stew.

And so on till evening when hubby came home.

Another quiet, productive day at home.

For Moms Looking To Work From Home

What's in a rainbow?

That post about The Rainbow Song reminds me of something else.

Since coming to Melbourne, we've seen more rainbows in a year than all the years we've been in Singapore. They just seem to pop up all the time, even on very dark, storm-threatened days.

Last night, Beth and I watched Noah's Ark, a video starring Tony Danza as a widower with three sons who is commissioned to build an ark in his backyard.

The Bible tells us the rainbow is a sign of God's promise to Noah (and to us) that He will never again destroy the world by flood as He did in Noah's time.

On Sunday, we watched Amazing Grace, the movie that depicts William Wilberforce's campaign to abolish the slave trade in England.

A pre-screening trailer announced a new movie: Evan Almighty. It's produced by the same people who brought us the hilarious Bruce Almighty, and is about another modern-day Noah called to build an ark.

While on the subject of The Great Flood, do you suppose it actually happened in history? Is there any evidence that there was once a flood of waters that was so catastrophic it completely wiped out the then known world? Or is Noah's Ark just a myth?

Years ago, I recall reading about the discovery of archaelogists who found what appeared to be the remains of an ark on the top of Mount Ararat.

While scientific findings will always be hotly disputed, especially when vested interests are involved, it is worthwhile keeping an open mind to the possibility that the Bible's account of history is true. It is uncomfortable and confronting to admit we may be wrong in the things we believe, and much courage is required to allow ourselves to accept the possibility that The Others - however much we may dislike or fear them or resent their views - may be right.

The Rainbow Song

Red and yellow and pink and green
Purple and orange and blue
I can see a rainbow
See a rainbow
See a rainbow too

I first heard this song sung by a cousin when she was little. It's been at least 20 years since and I never thought I would hear it again.

Then this afternoon, I heard it on Playschool, Beth's fave ABC Kids programme.

It's a relief to know - amid the dubious influences of Bratz and Barbie and Teletubbies - that there are still good wholesome unfashionable songs like these being passed on to the next generation.

Spontaneous Schooling

I love when an opportunity suddenly comes up to teach Beth something new.

The other day, we received a petition from our local MP. It asked residents to sign the petition to tell the Howard Government we don't want a nuclear reactor in our backyard. A nuclear reactor!

All I know about the subject are images and news bites of Chernobyl, Hiroshima/Nagasaki and movies about terrorists hijacking nuclear power plants.

A perfect opportunity to learn something new.

Beth and I got on the Internet to find out more about nuclear power, nuclear plants, the dangers from being exposed to radiation. There was so much info.

One message we got very clearly was: a nuclear reactor is dangerous because of its health risks to the people who live and work in its vicinity. As a hard target, it is also vulnerable to attack by persons with sinister intentions.

After this, it was easy for Beth to relate what we'd learnt to the petition we were being asked to sign. She was eager to tell friends at church and kinder what she'd learnt, and insisted on adding Scottie's paw print to the list of signatures.

Yesterday, the subject of Vikings came up. So we looked it up on the Internet, and printed off a fun page that showed rune symbols and how these translate into English.

I asked her to write "I love you" in rune symbols. Now we've got a perfect gift for Daddy when Father's Day comes round (first Sunday of September).

Today, I was researching the effects of electric transmissions and electromagnetic fields from electric substations. We had found a house we were keen to make an offer on, but in doing my due diligence, I had discovered that there was an electric substation on the property.

On the website of the electricity provider for that property were educational resources for school children. I printed off the 20-page one for primary school children, and Beth started working her way through it.

Since she can read independently, it's a great way to educate her (without nagging) on why we need to turn off electric appliances that are not in use, and why she shouldn't be sitting too close to the TV.

And why we've decided not to buy the house.

The Best Way To Teach Children: Don't Rescue Them

Another excellent piece from Stephanie Dowrick in the Inner Life column of Good Weekend. This time, on why you should trust your children to do things for themselves and let them accept the consequences - even when things might go wrong.

She shares about being impressed by a book, Liberated Parents, Liberated Children, that suggested the best way to teach children how to be responsible was to give up rescuing them.

Thus, if your child refuses to get dressed in time for school - you take them to school in their pyjamas.

Your child hasn't done her homework - don't do it for her.

Your (older) child forgets his lunch? He goes hungry.

Taking for granted that something will be done by children is part of the "no rescues" strategy.

So is standing back from doing things for children that they can easily do themselves. Surrendering age-appropriate responsibility to your children is an expression of trust, confidence and love.

How you encourage and praise is key. In teaching responsibility or anything else, we can praise too much. If you give responsibilities to children that are manageable and appropriate, you don't need to act astounded each time they achieve those goals. Judicious descriptive praise works best. Such as: "I really like the way you have rearranged your shelves to make it easy to find things."

It is also wonderful to children to know that their actions are helpful for the family as a whole unit: that what they are doing benefits everyone in their world.

Laying Down House Rules

Am negotiating that delicate balancing act called Laying Down The Rules whenever The Girls come over.

Lately, they've been coming over everyday. A huge adjustment for me, as I really crave my privacy and quiet. The house hasn't been quiet since Baby J started crawling, sitting up and learning to stand with support. She hates being on her own and needs a lot of attention and company, so when I get a moment to myself, I hang on to it real tight.

The first day they hung out at our house, they appalled me with their language (4-letter words, rock lyrics from Pink with dubious references to kissing and sleeping together, Paris Hilton magazine), their constant fighting and bitching, their disregard for people's privacy and for basic social etiquette (jumping on and off the sofa, leaving muffin crumbs all over the lounge carpet, helping themselves to the contents of my fridge, jamming crazily on the keyboard and guitar).

After 3 days, I thickened my skin and starting Laying Down The Rules.

One time, D gleefully told me she'd opened my clamshell Nokia to poke around. I firmly told her she should not touch people's things without asking permission.

Another time, when D and C were trying to claw each other's eyes out, I stepped in (having had to shout to be heard) and told them no fighting or bad language was allowed in the house, or they wouldn't be allowed over anymore.

There was a day D proudly revealed that "because" her balloon wouldn't pop, she was so frustrated she threw stones at the neighbour's fence! Worse, Beth and C took part as well. Then and there, I told D it was wrong of her to show disrespect for other people's property. I interrogated Beth, confirmed the allegation, extracted a confession of guilt - C "did it too"! - and Beth got a shelling as well. I told her in no uncertain terms how disappointed I was that she'd acted in a way she knew was wrong.

But these occasions have also turned out to be a great opportunity to communicate good values and good behaviour.

When D confessed that she wanted to be good but her sister was "teaching" her "bad things", my reply to D was she knew the difference between good and bad and she could choose the good and reject the bad.

And Beth is a terrific mouthpiece for The Rules because we always have a discussion about the can's and cannot's before The Girls come by, so I sometimes rely on her to tell The Girls what they shouldn't be doing.

Thanks to D, I now know that Bratz have got a series of books aimed at the 7-12 y.o. girls' market.
I also know the trashy content inside.
The sort of dialogue where the main character goes "That is so totally cool!" (I had to read 2 chapters aloud to D, horrors!)
That extols rock music and silly, fashion obsessed girls whose first reaction to an eco trip is to acquire a new fashion wardrobe for the occasion.
That places undue importance on a girl's vanity, peer standing and appearance.
Sometimes I feel I stress so much because I know too much, simply by being at home and available 24/7. Being away at work would be a lot easier. See no evil, hear no evil.

Having The Girls drop by so often has given me a great excuse to practise baking, and by extension, showing love and hospitality through food. The first time I baked chocolate cookies (to use up my store of cooking choc), they disappeared really quickly. The next day I baked choc muffins, and D kept coming to the kitchen to ask for one more. Today when I baked fairy cakes and gave Beth strict instructions to keep quiet about them just in case they didn't turn out properly, she leaked their existence anyway. So I sent The Girls on their way with a tupperware of the stuff.

I suspect God is trying to teach me something here. Perhaps He wants me to show The Girls loving discipline through the way we raise Beth. Perhaps Beth is to be the conduit through which The Girls can come to know Him.