Week 23 Already?

Had such horrendous back pain when I woke up this morning. Hubby was sweet enough to massage my back. He managed all of 5 mins before Beth interrupted to demand help with putting on her school uniform. At least she was alert enough to walk down to the school bus, instead of being carried like she is most mornings.

Just yesterday, I commented to hubby how fortunate it was that we hadn't booked our departure for any later. Can't imagine how much more uncomfortable I'd be!

Am thankful that boxes have arrived. We ordered 20 large (43 cm all round) and 20 small (for books and such like). The hard part is filling them. That requires bending over, not easy with a huge belly in the way!

Made better headway with the cabinets in the study room. Finally (after 9 years of marriage) junked my college essays and Law School notes. That's Stage 2 of the decluttering process. Stage 1 was throwing out the Law School textbooks and annual law reviews (well, about 90% anyway).

Was my handwriting really that neat way back? These days, I can barely hand write a page without getting a cramp or finding that my writing gets tinier and more erratic as I go down the page. Typing on my trusty ACER notebook's the only way I know. And did I actually write on such esoteric topics as the role of the consumer in the economy? Wow.

What was more insightful: my school report books from primary to secondary. Eagerly scanned the teachers' remarks column for clues as to what kind of pupil I was (and what kind Beth might be soon).
No surprises there - I was BORING. That is, well-behaved, polite, conscientious, diligent.
I "tried hard to participate" in PE activities, which clearly meant I was a no-hoper on the physical coordination front. (I failed physical fitness in Sec 4!)
I was lousy at Art, consistently scoring 50's.
And I was "over cautious", even at P1!
No wonder I didn't have many friends in school...I was a definite nerd!

Let's hope Beth's report card is more...umm...colourful.

Drama Queen

Beth has been unusually sensitive of late.

She bursts into tears at the slightest grievance - real or imagined.

If you express an alternative opinion, she cries.
If you appear to criticize, she cries.
If there is a change of plan, she cries.

Her daddy and I are having to tiptoe around her to avoid being the cause of one of these episodes, as we would then have to spend an inordinate amount of time consoling, cuddling, distracting and trying to restore her good humour. He has been amazingly patient with her, while I tend to think she is being over-dramatic.

I wonder if this is a common development in 4 year-olds?
Is it because of the impending move and the prospect of a sibling?
How do we handle her rightly and respectfully?
I want my resilient, in-your-face little girl back!

Mini Me in the Making

This evening, Beth was regaling us over dinner with a recital of the 7-11 TV commercial. (She also knows the Pizza Hut one. Sigh.) Her daddy and I looked at each other with a mixture of amazement (at her memory powers) and resignation (the power of media!).

As she sang away, I said out loud: "I wonder what your mei mei will be like."

To which came the immediate, self-confident rejoinder: "Just like me!"

(Were Beth a tad older, she might perhaps have added "But of course!" or "Ahbudden?" or "Duh??")

We shudder to think how the little one will turn out.

Beth's Busy Calendar

Yesterday (Sunday) was a packed day for Beth. After Sunday School, she held hands with her friend Olive all the way into the sanctuary, played with Terre after service, and slept right through lunch!

She woke up in the cab as we were reaching Aunty Rani's place, and before long, she and 5 y.o. Logan were hard at work building stuff in his room. Before we left, Logan gave her a magic ink drawing he'd done - a happy picture with a huge rainbow (all the colours in their proper ROYGBIV places)/sun/cloud/2 smiley faces (for him and her!).

Enroute to Chantal's party, she fell asleep again. We were almost 2 hours late, yet amazingly, we arrived just as they were singing Happy Birthday and cutting the castle cake. There were little girls dressed like princesses (as per theme) and boys with swords and slings/arrows. Beth was agog at all the fun and tried in vain to find peers she could hang out with, but the boys were too busy shooting at or stabbing each other. Felt quite bad for her but left her to fend for herself; I mean, she has to learn to manage on her own right?

Hubby and I declared ourselves too old for the din inside the function room and took our plates to the poolside for some fresh air. Did wonder briefly if the others thought we were being standoffish or anti-social but decided I didn't care enough to make the rounds; it's uncomfortable enough having a big belly, an indifferent appetite and feeling worn out from a day of activity. To have to endure all that screaming and shouting in a confined space would be too much.

When we asked Beth to give the b'day girl a hug, we noticed that she stood with her arms by her side and allowed Chantal to hug her instead. My aunty E has made the same observation before; Beth doesn't hug you, but she might (if she likes you) allow you to hug her! Wonder why that is?

Our last stop for the evening was VOP, where we stopped in to say goodbye to the members and to be prayed over by Rev Ho. Beth calls the Chairman "Kong Kong" (Grandpa), and he proudly tells everyone she's his granddaughter. He plies her with snacks, tidbits, animated stories...As the only kid who makes a regular appearance at practices, she adds a measure of liveliness to Sunday night practices. Hopefully, she is getting some early exposure to John Rutter's music as well!

Week 22: Abnormal Discomfort

Felt really lousy last night while waiting at Raffles City for our cab to arrive.

Had this strange tingly sensation on the r.h.s of the abdomen way down. It was like the abdomen was sinking (*a sinking feeling!*) and there were invisible fingers crawling all over. Had a corresponding pain in the spine as well.

Hubby got worried and we talked briefly about whether I could fly in 1.5 weeks for the big move.

My prayer
Lord, You made this child and You made me. You are more than able to preserve us. Help me rest in Your loving care and to cease from anxiety. Help me trust You for Your loving provision. Amen.

Update
No more tingly sensation this morning, but I'll be sure to take it real easy today. That means walking extra slowly, getting off the chair slowly etc. Can't believe I'm only 5.5 months along and already feeling this way!

A War Criminal's Take on Breastfeeding, Education & Mother's Love

I have always been unhappy about the idea that modern education begins at school. The home is the most appropriate place for educating infants and the most appropriate teacher is the mother. You alone can lay the foundation for education in its true meaning. If you do not want to be criticized as worthless women, please do your best in educating your own children. Education does not begin at kindergarten or on entry to elementary school. It should begin when you breastfeed a newborn baby. It is a mother's privilege to have a special feeling that no one else can have when she cuddles and breastfeeds her baby. Mothers should give their love to their baby both physically and mentally, as they are the baby's source of life. Breastfeeding can be done by another, and nourishment can be provided by other animals, or can be substituted for by a bottle. Yet nothing else can substitute for mother's love.

It is not enough for a mother to think only about how to keep her children alive. She should raise them to be able to live independently, cope with various circumstances, love peace, appreciate cooperation with others and have a strong desire to contribute to humanity when they grow up.

You should raise the joyful feeling of breastfeeding to the level of intellectual emotion and refined love. Mother's love will constantly flow into her baby's body through breastfeeding. The fundamental elements of future education must exist in embryo in mother's milk. Attention to the baby's needs can be the basis for education. Untiring mothering skills should naturally develop into a higher level of educational skill.

From: Last Words of the Tiger of Malaya, General Yamashita Tomoyuki
By Yuki Tanaka

Singapore Idol's Biggest Fan

This is hard to believe, but I know a 4 year-old girl who is a slavish fan of SI, and a particularly devoted fan of Joakim the Performing Monkey. I suppose if I were a teen, I would also fall for his huge eyes, comic expressions and the way he flirts with the camera, but really....

Every week, Beth predicts that Paul Twohill (the No-Eye-Dol) will get voted off, and I secretly wish Joakim would too. I mean, these 2 are just about the worst singers! But every week they bounce back and make it to the safety of the couch, looking somewhat stunned (as well they should) at their good fortune.

Even hubby shakes his head when Beth gets all coy and giggly at the mere mention of J. She eagerly scans the TV screen for SI commercials, looks out for his pics in the papers, recalls with glee all his funny gestures (which really look quite wooden compared to, say, Paul, who's a natural performer).

Am thankful she's not old enough to know how to send text messages yet. Then again, it won't be long.

Just last night, she asked if SI can be watched from Melb! (We won't be in town by the time the finals come round.)

Beth the Beautician

Yest, Beth decided she wanted to examine Mummy's face a little more closely.

With a piece of tissue, she grabbed my face with her pudgy little hands and began scrubbing away (*ouch*) at the mask of pregnancy that had developed on the sides of my nose.

She went on in an attitude of seriousness for a really long time, scrunching and tossing tissue after tissue before she was finally satisfied.

Me - I was just revelling in the sheer intimacy of having my little girl touch my face so tenderly and reverently and treating my flaws with such fierce care.

Sugar 'n' Spice and Everything Nice

Beth has been an angel the past 2 days.

Yest, she offered to help me in the kitchen when I was putting together a fruit 'n' cream cheese pie for a family dinner.

"You need anything, you just tell me, ok Mummy?"

She helped pluck champagne grapes off stems (and proclaimed after 5 mins that her legs were "scrumpy" and tired).
She helped hand-mix the cream cheese and condensed milk, to the accompaniment of suspicious slurping sounds every 5 mins. (When I asked if she was "stealing" the cream cheese, she stoutly defended herself: "It's at the side of the bowl!")

During dinner, she pulled my ear towards her so she could whisper urgently into it. Apparently, she didn't want to share a tidbit with Daddy because "you are not supposed to share food; it has got other people's saliva on it". I laughed till I turned red.

And during the family photo shoot, she perched on the back of the sofa behind me and wrapped her arms around me.

This afternoon she did something cheeky which she's tried recently (since knowing I'm pregnant): manoeuvring herself into nursing position and pretending to suck! You knew she was having fun from the uncontrollable giggles.

Just wish she would get over the horrid coughing fits SOON. She seems to come down with something or other every month.

Update
Beth got over the worst of the coughing and sniffles in 3 days - a record! PTL.

Week 21: Outcome of Scan

Saw Dr Kek for the final visit yesterday, and got her to release my medical records and to certify that I'm fit to fly. Will miss the excellent service at her clinic (Women's Specialist Associates). The nurses and reception staff greet you by name! They are definitely worthy ambassadors for good service in S'pore.

Am glad to report that bb is doing fine although placenta is lying a little low. There's a possibility of placenta previa, but she said not to worry just yet as this is only diagnosed at Week 32. Will have to start reading up on the subject. The only thing I know about pp is that Princess Kiko of Japan has it and that's why she's checking into the hospital early to have a C-section!

We were also able to find out the gender. I remember when we had Beth, we chose not to find out till the delivery. (We actually had a "Congratulations - it's a girl!" moment in the delivery room.) This time round, we wanted to know because it would impact on the amount and type of bb clothing we bring to Melb. As it turns out, God has blessed us with another girl! So much for choosing between Barnabas and Jordan. :-)

Am thankful because this means bb can fully utilize Beth's clothing - more savings for us!

Am also really tickled because:
- Everyone around us is so convinced we're having a boy. Their reason: my symptoms are completely opposite this time (I've had a tough first trimester with dreadful nausea, loss of appetite, fatigue, vomitting).
- I was just teasing hubby the day before that if he has another daughter, good luck to him because he'll have his hands full! (We met up with friends last week who have 2 daughters each, and it was obvious the dads were exhausted from the girls wanting a piece of them at the same time!)
-Lately, Beth has been referring to bb as "mei mei"!

As usual, kids know best.

Inside a Four Year-Old's Mind

Lately, hubby and I have noticed 2 distinct strands of behaviour after Beth knew she was going to have a sibling:

1. The forward-looking attitude

Beth is thrilled to stroke my belly, talk to her unborn sibling, imagine aloud all the things she and bb will do together and especially the things she will do for her di di/mei mei e.g. carry her, feed her, play with her. She is particularly tickled when we share stories of what she was like inside Mummy and how she behaved as an infant and then a toddler.

2. The regression into baby behaviour

Beth has become increasingly clingy, which we're told is normal when a new sibling's on the way. She demands that Daddy carry her everywhere, lapses into baby talk when interacting with us (she now calls me "Mum Mum" instead of "Mummy", in a cute, babyish tone), cries at the smallest imagined slight, and refuses to do the simplest things for herself.

Reflection
Actually, this isn't too far from how I behave with God. On good days, I am eager to please Him, to be a light to the world and to serve others by being helpful and kind. On bad days, I am a total child (not in the good sense!): throwing tantrums, sulking, in denial about my poor spiritual state, not wanting to face up to my sins. What a handful I must be!

Playtime!

Yesterday, we were privileged to drop in for tea with our pals Andrew & Ruth at their home. Their 2 little girls, Esther and Emily, were asleep when we arrived, but woke up soon enough and before long, there was a merry commotion in the living room as soft toys were unearthed, a wooden dollhouse started to fill up with furniture and occupants and an empty box was turned into a cubbyhouse.

While the adults yakked, the little ones were getting on famously - no introductions or polite enquiries were needed. Children just have a remarkable way of getting along which we can learn from.

Patriotic Beth

Beth can recite the pledge in Mandarin!

It gave me a funny feeling to watch her stand at attention, hand to heart, and recite the pledge from start to finish in her cutely flawed Mandarin accent. I'd almost forgotten the words myself, and now I have a point of reference. Hubby was suitably impressed. After all, he hardly speaks a word of Mandarin.

On Tue (eve of National Day), we were planning on sending Beth to a friend's place so she could hang out there the whole day. Beth had her own ideas however. After we'd written a note in her school notebook to inform her teacher that she would not be in school on Tue, and after we'd agreed on the play arrangements with our friend, Beth decided when she woke up on Tue that she MUST go to school first. She had to wear red-and-white, she explained, and there was going to be an ND celebration in school. Any other activities were secondary.

So sheepishly, hubby had to send her off to school and pick her up again after her nap and send her off to friend's place in the afternoon. Beth's Chinese teacher Xiao Laoshi, who has been largely responsible for Beth's newly gained ability to converse in Mandarin, was tickled to see us.

While hubby and I were out running errands, Beth was at the Singapore Swimming Club playground. Then she had dinner at Mac's with friend and her hubby (whose children are studying in Oz and who dote on her like a granddaughter), went back to friend's place and demonstrated yoga moves and watched Animal Planet, and still had energy to greet me with a lively recounting of the day's events when she got home after 10 pm (by which time I was half asleep in bed).

Beth and Her Friends

About Pierced Ears...

The other night at dinner, Beth started examining my earlobes and asking why I have earholes. I explained I'd had them pierced when I was 3, so that I could wear earrings. She started talking about her classmate Jonelle, who wears earrings to school. And said she'd like to have her ears pierced too. Since I'd had mine done before I was her age, I've no objections, but her daddy would hear none of it. That was when she started to bawl. Maybe she can have them done in Melbourne...

With Gabriel...

We were with friends last Friday night talking about the big move. They have a lovely little boy, Gabriel, who's 3 months younger than Beth. When we got there, G was jumping up and down with excitement and showing one display of hospitality after another: taking out toys and snacks to share with Beth, footstools for me and hubby to rest our feet on (so sweet!), and keeping up a constant stream of chatter. Beth in the meantime, had been about to fall asleep and was trying to cover her ears to keep out the noise. She was definitely in no mood to socialize.

At the point where G started to offer a choc muffin, Beth seemed to give up on the idea of her power nap, sat up and started to interact with G. They eventually left the adults to go off to the playroom by themselves; you could see G was so thrilled! My friend Yvonne (G's mum) went to check on them a while later and reported back that G had spilled Mamee all over the bed and Beth was busy scolding: "I told you not to open it here!" and other such dialogue. The 2 of them got on like a house on fire and it's such a pity that we're leaving this circle of comfort soon. But not before we all sit down to dinner next Friday. I'm looking forward to see how the kids get on next week!

With Matthias...

M is 8 months old and absolutely adorable. He has huge round eyes and the sweetest smile - best of all, he's smiling most of the time! It's not hard to make him gurgle and laugh. His dad sings tenor in our church choir and so M sits in every Sun morning with his mum in the choir room to watch (and sometimes he joins in!). Our families belong to the same cell group.

Beth loves to go up to M in his stroller and play with him. She's quite good with little ones and lets M pull her fair (although I was a bit startled myself when he pulled out a tiny fistful last Sun), touch her face etc. She takes it upon herself to watch him like a hawk when his mum steps out for a while, and can tell me what it is M wants when he whines ("He wants his Mummy." "He wants to come out.") I am really pleased that she enjoys hanging out with kids of all ages. She and her new sibling should get on just fine, as she's quite the nurturing, protective sort.

With Bryan....

B is 3 and a typically rambunctious little boy. He is taller and bigger than most kids his age and as loud and intimidating as a frisky 3 year-old can get. Last Sun, he confronted Beth in the church sanctuary with a paper plane in each hand, and tried to block her path as she made to walk in the opposite direction. I watched to see how it would end.

To my pleasant surprise, Beth did not whine or burst into tears. Instead, she fixed him with a stony glare of displeasure (which she has mastered to perfection and occasionally uses on Mummy and Daddy) and an arms-akimbo posture, and continued trying to get past. B gallantly attempted a few more blocks and eventually gave up. I think he was just trying to engage her playfully but you can tell she's not a typical girly sort, which is good. It means she can fend for herself at school without having to run crying to the teacher all the time.

The First Kiss

The other day, we were watching Singapore Idol and Beth and I got to talking about boys and girls. She likes the baby-faced boys. In April, it was Campus Superstar winner Ng Zhiyang, whom she wanted to marry. In the current SI competition, she's rooting for Joakim Gomez ("the performing monkey"). Then she announced that her classmate Gerald (who has a baby face) kissed her. And that she didn't like it.

"Cannot anyhow kiss people - cannot!" she asserted self-righteously, shaking her head at the same time. "You can only kiss your own Mummy and Daddy." And proceeded to wrap herself round me and kiss me. Awshucks.

When I asked her how she felt when G kissed her - happy? angry? surprised? -she replied sheepishly, "Happy." :)
And disclosed that she'd kissed G right back!

Looks like I'll have to gear up for my daughter's busy social life much earlier than I anticipated!

Beth's Prayer Template

We taught Beth to say grace from the time she was old enough to articulate. Her version goes: "Lord Jesus, thank you for the food. Amen."

Sometimes, she adds a variation: "Thank you for Mummy's cooking." (hubby's suggestion)

Last night, I told her my chronic eczema seemed to be getting worse. It had flared up in a few areas on my legs and was giving me serious grief.

This was how Beth prayed:
"Lord Jesus, thank you for Mummy's eczema. It is getting worser and worser. Please heal Mummy and make her better. Amen."

I did not know whether to laugh or cry. She had actually copied her "grace" formula for praying, and thanked God for something I didn't feel very grateful about! But doesn't the Bible tell us to give thanks in all circumstances, and to rejoice when we undergo trials? In her innocence, she taught me something priceless: to thank God even in times of suffering, and at the same time to ask for relief.

Thank you, child of God. :-)

PS. By the way, one definition of the meaning of Beth is "daughter of God".