How Old Should A Flower Girl Be?

I am told 6 years is a good age.

At least that is what my cousin was when she was our flower girl.

And that is the age my friend's flower girl was.

In both instances, the weddings went without a hitch.

From all accounts, 6 is the age a kid can take instructions from an adult and be relied upon to comply without trying to test the boundaries.

And testing boundaries is one of Beth's favourite pastimes.

Like last Sunday. It was her 2nd flower girl engagement (not bad for a 3-year-old) and the first time she had to role play "big sister" to the other flower girl, who is all of 19 months.

Beth and the rest of the wedding party made it down the aisle well enough, but after the strains of Pachelbel's Canon had died away and everyone's eyes were fixed on the bride and groom, the fun began.

Mummy wasn't sure whether to intervene (and draw more attention to the mischief-maker) or refrain (and be judged a negligent mum) when Beth wiggled her way to the front of the altar right next to the bride, and gazed adoringly upwards at her while the pastor was giving the homily. From time to time, she would pat the bride's gown and fuss with the train.

Mummy decided to be invisible.

At least this time Beth didn't sit on the steps of the altar and flash at the well-wishers, like she did 6 months ago at Godma's wedding.

Later that evening, Beth discovered that running around with the page boys was a lot more fun than sittting in her high chair having dinner with the adults.

Aunty Chris, yummy mummy and unflappable mother of the boys, came by to report this nugget at the end of the evening:

"I told the older boy, 'You must be gentle when playing with girls.'
He said, 'But the girl is rough!'
'Be that as it may, you should always be gentle when playing with girls.'
He protested, 'But then I'll lose!'

We laughed at his innocent logic. He is probably right. Beth is NOT one of the girls. She's one of the BOYS.

Rub A Dub Dub, One Girl In A Tub!

Lately, Beth has been rather uncooperative when it comes to bath time.

"I don't wanna bathe!" she would whine. This would be followed by a frown, a pucker, and an assortment of various other facial expressions to demonstrate her dismay at being interrupted in the midst of an exciting activity.

Like reading.

Beth can sit and read for hours. She reads all sorts of books - Chinese ones, English ones, children's encyclopaedias, even Miriam Stoppard's "Conception, Pregnancy and Birth" (she loves the pictures of unborn babies).

Saturday morning was like any other.

Daddy: "Beth, it's time for your bath."

"But I don't wanna bathe!" Beth whined.

"If you don't bathe, you have to stay home while Mummy and Daddy go out."

Beth burst into tears.

"Come here. Mummy wants to talk to you," said Mummy, and opened her arms.

Beth allowed herself to be hugged, while Mummy explained why it was time to bathe and the exciting plans for the afternoon. Beth would be going to Aunty Dee's house and together, they would go to the airport to fetch Xin who was coming home for Christmas!

Xin was Aunty Dee's daughter. She adored Beth and had missed her terribly when she went away to Perth to study.

"I want to pee pee," said Beth when Mummy had finished explaining.

On the way back from the loo, Beth added a dramatic twist to the ongoing tantrum.

"I want to bathe in my blue bathtub!" and she looked ready to cry again.

"But you're too big for your bathtub now. That was for you when you were a baby!" said Mummy.

Then their eyes fell on the huge red tub Mummy used to store the dirty laundry for washing.

"Shall we use this for your bathtub instead?" smiled Mummy.

"Yes!!"

Beth dragged the tub into the living room to show it to Daddy before happily going upstairs with Mummy for the best bathtime ever.

THE END

Jekyll and Hyde: The 2 Faces of Beth

On Sunday morning, Beth woke up on the wrong side of her mattress in Mummy and Daddy's room.

First, she refused to have her bath, from the time she awoke, right up to the time the family was leaving for church.
As a result, they missed choir practice and got to church just in time for service.

Next, she refused to greet Aunty Lynn, who was getting married in a week's time and had "engaged" Beth to be her flower girl.

After service, she was chided by Mummy for playing around the altar and imitating her friend who was climbing pews and jumping off them.

"This is the house of God, not a playground," said Mummy sternly. (Mummy was secretly mortified at the behaviour of her offspring and what her fellow churchgoers might think of her parenting competencies.)

By the end of the evening, Beth the Angel made her long overdue appearance.

She attended the usual Sunday night choir practice with Daddy and thrilled all the members by saying hello to everyone instead of turning away or hiding behind Daddy.

She even gave Aunty Lina - who gets a ride home with Daddy and Beth every Sunday - a peck on the cheek, of her own accord!

Will Aunty Lina be up all night smiling at the precious memory?

Just before bedtime, Beth declared, "Mummy, I love you."

Mummy patted Beth to sleep and whispered a prayer for her little girl to sleep well.

Then Mummy went to her Dell desktop to send her account into cyberspace, for no one in particular to see.

Beth recommends: ROBERTO THE INSECT ARCHITECT by Nina Laden

Hi Kids & Parents everywhere!

Beth would like to share with you about a book she borrowed from the National Library.

She has been making Mummy read it over and over again cos she loves the story.

After 2 readings, Mummy has come to love the story too!

It's about ROBERTO the termite and how he dreams of becoming a famous architect.

What's great? It's witty ("Don't bug me", said Antonia Gaudi to ROBERTO), wise, and speaks hope and wisdom to all who've ever dreamed of doing something they love.

Above all, the story has heart.

ROBERTO's success comes as a by-product of helping others. He has a very simple passion: to build. When he meets rejection after rejection from industry icons, he doesn't just give up and go home. Instead, he puts that passion to practical use by building free homes for the poor and displaced members of his community, and he does it anonymously.

Lessons learnt:

• Success can come in many ways. Sometimes it takes a long detour from your original plan to bring you to where you're meant to be.
• Don't give up. Even when things don't go your way, if you have a dream, keep at it and it will come true someday.
• Be creative. When ROBERTO was recceing for a plot of land to build his dream neighbourhood, he found the perfect spot in the local dump!
• Meet real needs. When you go about your daily routine, keep your eyes open for service gaps, product deficiencies, human needs. Do you have a skill or talent that you can use to make life better for someone else? Use it.
• When doing good, do not let your right hand know what your left hand is doing. Good works are so much more fun when done secretly.

This book gets a 9/10!

How Three Year-olds Manipulate Their Parents

Whenever Beth does something she knows is wrong, she responds in one of two ways, depending on how she is feeling that day.

If she is in a good mood, she wraps her arms around Mummy's neck and gushes, "Mummy, I LIKE YOU!" with all the ardour of someone in love.

To this, Mummy might reply, "I like you too, but sometimes you're very naughty."

And Beth might then quickly add, "But sometimes I'm good too. Right, Mummy?"

This always makes Mummy smile, and Beth's misdemeanour is quickly forgotten.

If Beth is in a bad mood, her mouth turns downwards and she whines and wails with enough conviction to make her Speech and Drama teacher proud.

Whenever she behaves like this, Mummy and Daddy usually ignore her.

Sometimes, she gets "put in the corner", that is, she is made to stand and face the wall, until she is ready to say sorry for what she has done.

Occasionally though, Mummy would feel sorry for Beth and come over to give her a hug and speak softly but firmly to her.

This usually works, as Beth loves being cuddled.

Mummy and Daddy have their hands full managing Beth's moods. Like many 3 year-olds, she can be an angel one moment and a real monster the next, making them feel as if they have failed as parents.

Mummy asked her good friend Elaine, who has a 5 year-old son, whether this was the norm.

"Oh yes!" Aunty Elaine assured Mummy. "They like to test the boundaries and they'll keep testing you, even when they're 5 years old!"

Looks like Beth has at least another 2 years to go before she matures enough to control her emotions.

Train up a child in the way he should go, so that when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Beth Prays For Healing

One day, Daddy and Mummy announced that the family was going on a holiday to Genting Highlands.

They would be taking a coach all the way, a journey of some 6 hours.

Beth was excited. She had always wanted to be on a bus, and she was finally getting her wish!

Genting turned out to be freezing cold, and they never strayed from the hotel, but Beth didn't mind.

Everyday, she would cajole Daddy and Mummy to take her on rides in the Indoor Theme Park.

There were so many rides and games to try: the carousel, the ferris wheel, the bumper cars (which was her favourite because she got to try different vehicles each time - an ambulance, a fire engine, a police car).

Beth never got tired of going on the same rides again and again.

Daddy and Mummy were exhausted though, as Beth would sometimes fall asleep on their way back to the hotel. Beth weighed 15 kg, as much as 3 bags of rice!

One day, after they'd taken the cable car down the hill into the valley and up again, Mummy started to feel unwell.
That afternoon, she went to bed and stayed there till evening.

Beth and Daddy went to the Indoor Theme Park where - you guessed it! - she tried out some more rides.

When they came back to the hotel room, Mummy had still not risen from the bed. Her forehead was very hot and so was her whole body.

Daddy said to Beth: "Mummy is having a high fever. Come and pray for Mummy."

The little girl picked up the New Testament which Mummy had left on the side table, and came over to the bedside.

Flipping open the Bible (and without being able to read a word), she proclaimed, "The Bible says, GOD will take away your fever."

Such a simple statement, yet such a powerful one.

The faith of a little child shone like a ray through the dark fog of Mummy's condition.

Daddy and Mummy smiled. She was beginning to feel just a teensy weensy bit better.

In heaven, Jesus smiled too. This is what He says:

Let the little children come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.

I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

A Story About A Girl Named Beth

Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Beth.

Being 3, she thought she was a "big girl" and yearned to be like the older kids who seemed to have so much more fun.

Beth wanted to learn all sorts of things: swimming, inline skating, hoola hoop-ing, music. She wanted to play the piano, the drums, the guitar and be a choir member, just like Mummy and Daddy.

But most of all, Beth wanted to be a 'big jie jie' ("jie jie" is Chinese for "older sister").

When asked if she wanted a little brother or sister, she always gave the same answer: "I want a 'di di' ("little brother") AND a 'mei mei' ("little sister")."

This never failed to make Mummy and Daddy smile.

Mummy had lost a baby to a miscarriage not long ago, and she told Beth that she actually did have a little "di di" or "mei mei", but Jesus had taken the baby home.

Beth asked: "Why did Jesus take away your baby?"

Mummy explained that Jesus loved the baby very much and wanted him/her in heaven.

"Jesus will give you another baby," proclaimed Beth confidently.

Mummy's heart melted to hear those words, and she silently wept tears of joy mingled with sadness.
Joy that her 3 year-old had so much faith when she herself had so little.
Joy that God had spoken words of comfort and promise through an innocent little child.
Sadness that a life had ended before it began.
Sadness when she thought of how different life might have been like, had Baby lived.

In the silence of her thoughts, Mummy felt Jesus whisper these words:
"Precious child, I alone know the plans that I have for you. They are plans to prosper you, not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope."

And Mummy was comforted.